Monday, 8. December 2014 22:36
There are several myths associated with grief and bereavement. These do us more harm than good. Let’s try to look at some of these.
1. Don’t feel bad
Since childhood, we are made to believe that our feelings are bad or deceptive, and we’re not supposed to have bad feelings. So when something bad happens in our lives, like, we face death of a beloved, we are caught in the trap of what is true to our feelings and what we are taught to believe. This leads us to fight our own feelings, because while on one hand we actually feel bad, on the other we think that such feelings are not acceptable or appropriate.
2. Replace the loss
A misinformation that we are often taught in our lives is that it is possible to replace a loss. While, it may be be possible to replace a dog or a cat that dies with another animal, the emotional connect that one feels with the dead pet may never be replaced. This becomes extremely devastating when the death of a parent or a child makes one realize that it is just not possible to replace this loss. It is never ever possible to replace a relationship.
3. Grieve Alone
Mostly, we’ve seen grieving people isolate themselves. This is because we believe that our feelings are bad, and not apt to be displayed in public. So, we don’t cry or express such feelings in front of others. This poses as a great threat when faced with a major grief in life.
4. Just Give it Time
Another misinformation that is taught or rather gets passed from one generation to next, is that time alone can heal broken heart. We are often made to believe that time is a great healer, so with the passage of time everything will be fine. While the truth is that one needs to take corrective action within that time to recover from the emotional upheaval. So, it’s both time and correct action that can help, and not either alone.
5. Be Strong for others
This myth has long been instilled in us, that when something bad happens, we need to act strong for ourselves and for others. This is similar to trying to hide our true feelings that we feel as a human who is at loss. Also it makes no sense trying to portray to be someone that one is actually not.
6. Keep Busy
This is another wrong idea that we often hear about. When someone is dealing with grief or bereavement, they are always told to keep busy. So people keep filling their lives with fanatic activity, but it never leads them to overcome the emotional turmoil that comes with the loss.
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