Comments for Grief | Grieving | Grief and Loss http://thegriefblog.com Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:07:42 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.9.1 hourly 1 Comment on Poetry Contest Entry: Taking a Slow Ride by Audrey Szabo by Heru Kurniawan http://thegriefblog.com/grief/bereavement/grief/poetry-contest-entry-taking-a-slow-ride-by-audrey-szabo/comment-page-1/#comment-110731 Heru Kurniawan Thu, 11 Mar 2010 09:07:42 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/grief/grief/poetry-contest-entry-taking-a-slow-ride-by-audrey-szabo/#comment-110731 I am really love that I am really love that

]]> Comment on How can I have my wedding without my mom? by Stefan http://thegriefblog.com/grief/blog/bereavement-support/how-can-i-have-my-wedding-without-my-mom/comment-page-1/#comment-110725 Stefan Thu, 11 Mar 2010 05:49:33 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/?p=7160#comment-110725 ... yes, you CAN have your wedding the way YOU envision it. I do understand that your loss is interfering with your "perfect wedding" plans, but your planned or anticipated wedding is for YOU, and your partner, and nobosy else. Rules of etiquette encompass most aspects of social interaction in any society. Hence, it is no surprise that etiquette also plays a big role in many aspects surrounding a wedding. Apart from topics like who pays for what at the wedding or what today's do's and don'ts for a wedding shower are, special circumstances involving a wedding also need to be considered. Be it that you decided to plan your own wedding, be it details on the registration of your wedding, or be it that the upcoming wedding is an encore wedding for you and / or your partner ... or be it that your planned for wedding is concerning you because of the loss of one of your loved-ones. My experience shows that one of the most important things for weddings is to focus on YOUR own future life and partnership with the person you are planning to get married to. I am trying to comprise many of the most pressing issues related to wedding etiquete on a webpage <a href="http://www.perfectweddingetiquette.com" rel="nofollow">wedding etiquette who pays for what </a> and <a href="http://www.perfectweddingetiquette.com" rel="nofollow">wedding shower etiquette</a> , http://www.perfectweddingetiquette.com/ Your specific situation will definitely be included in my research. All the best to you, Stefan … yes, you CAN have your wedding the way YOU envision it. I do understand that your loss is interfering with your “perfect wedding” plans, but your planned or anticipated wedding is for YOU, and your partner, and nobosy else. Rules of etiquette encompass most aspects of social interaction
in any society. Hence, it is no surprise that etiquette also plays a big role in many aspects surrounding a wedding. Apart from topics like who pays for what at the wedding or what today’s do’s and don’ts for a wedding shower are, special circumstances involving a wedding also need to be considered. Be it that you decided to plan your own wedding, be it details on the registration of your wedding, or be it that the upcoming wedding is an encore wedding for you and / or your partner … or be it that your planned for wedding is concerning you because of the loss of one of your loved-ones.
My experience shows that one of the most important things for weddings is to focus on YOUR own future life and partnership with the person you are planning to get married to. I am trying to comprise many of the most pressing issues related to wedding etiquete on a webpage wedding etiquette who pays for what and wedding shower etiquette , http://www.perfectweddingetiquette.com/
Your specific situation will definitely be included in my research. All the best to you, Stefan

]]> Comment on I too lost my first and only child by Debra Reagan http://thegriefblog.com/grief/blog/bereavement-support/i-too-lost-my-first-and-only-child/comment-page-1/#comment-110632 Debra Reagan Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:48:47 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/?p=7286#comment-110632 Conswayla, I am so sorry for the death of your little one. Take care of yourself and that this one step at a time. Gentle Hugs, Debra Conswayla,
I am so sorry for the death of your little one. Take care of yourself and that this one step at a time.

Gentle Hugs,
Debra

]]> Comment on Grief is beating me down! by Debra Reagan http://thegriefblog.com/grief/blog/bereavement-support/grief-is-beating-me-down/comment-page-1/#comment-110631 Debra Reagan Tue, 09 Mar 2010 21:39:52 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/?p=7247#comment-110631 My Dearest Jennifer, I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious son. My son also died of a drug overdose in 2005. December is still so recent and your pain so raw. Take care of yourself and remember to take this journey one step at a time. I am so sorry for the circumstances around your son's death. I have found that now I can think of Clint without thinking of the drugs and the struggles first. I will forever miss my Clint and I will never "get over" the loss, but I am beginning to have the energy to re-invest in my new normal. At first I saw myself as a terrible mom, but I grew to know that I did the best I could and that Clint did the best he could. You will be in my thoughts. Gentle Hugs, Debra My Dearest Jennifer,
I am so very sorry for the loss of your precious son. My son also died of a drug overdose in 2005. December is still so recent and your pain so raw. Take care of yourself and remember to take this journey one step at a time.

I am so sorry for the circumstances around your son’s death. I have found that now I can think of Clint without thinking of the drugs and the struggles first. I will forever miss my Clint and I will never “get over” the loss, but I am beginning to have the energy to re-invest in my new normal.

At first I saw myself as a terrible mom, but I grew to know that I did the best I could and that Clint did the best he could. You will be in my thoughts.

Gentle Hugs,
Debra

]]> Comment on A Mother’s Poems for Her Son Poems by Chantal Hajee by shaakiera http://thegriefblog.com/grief/grief-support/a-mothers-poems-for-her-son/comment-page-1/#comment-110624 shaakiera Tue, 09 Mar 2010 15:47:58 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/?p=7184#comment-110624 i am ur friend. i will never let go of ur hand. u can count on me to b there rite beside u in al this empty darkness. i am ur friend. i will never let go of ur hand. u can count on me to b there rite beside u in al this empty darkness.

]]> Comment on Losing a child by Conswayla http://thegriefblog.com/grief/grief-poems/losing-a-child/comment-page-1/#comment-110572 Conswayla Mon, 08 Mar 2010 22:46:26 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/?p=1324#comment-110572 Sorry for everyones lost. I to lost my first and only child friday March 5, 2010. Mikayla Ariel Ded in my womb and did not know it. She moved on the day of my baby shower, she moved the day of my doctors appt., but then she stop moving on wednesday night I thought that maybe she didn't have enough room to move around anymore and I thought she was just sleep, but I became worried so I called my doctor and she told me to go to the Labor and delivery department to she if they can find a fetal heartbeat. They didn't! I was alone when they told this and it felt like my life left my body and I just couldn't gather my thoughts or realization that she was gone. I had surgery that same night and they let me and my family hold her for the last time. I am now thinking about adoption but everyone is telling don't rush any decision mourn your daughter and one day you will be a mother, but I just can't stop crying. I am leaning on God for all my understanding, because I still don't know what happened and I pray he gives me peace and understanding to make it through this tough time in my life. I will also pray for you all who have lost a love one. Sorry for everyones lost. I to lost my first and only child friday March 5, 2010. Mikayla Ariel Ded in my womb and did not know it. She moved on the day of my baby shower, she moved the day of my doctors appt., but then she stop moving on wednesday night I thought that maybe she didn’t have enough room to move around anymore and I thought she was just sleep, but I became worried so I called my doctor and she told me to go to the Labor and delivery department to she if they can find a fetal heartbeat. They didn’t! I was alone when they told this and it felt like my life left my body and I just couldn’t gather my thoughts or realization that she was gone. I had surgery that same night and they let me and my family hold her for the last time. I am now thinking about adoption but everyone is telling don’t rush any decision mourn your daughter and one day you will be a mother, but I just can’t stop crying. I am leaning on God for all my understanding, because I still don’t know what happened and I pray he gives me peace and understanding to make it through this tough time in my life. I will also pray for you all who have lost a love one.

]]> Comment on Grief is beating me down! by Jayne Taylor http://thegriefblog.com/grief/blog/bereavement-support/grief-is-beating-me-down/comment-page-1/#comment-110562 Jayne Taylor Mon, 08 Mar 2010 14:12:11 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/?p=7247#comment-110562 Dear Jennifer, I am so very sorry to hear about your precious son. Your situation is very similar to mine. On July 23, 2007, we lost our beautiful daughter Cassie to a drug overdose. She was with "friends" that night who left her in our van outside the house all night. My husband discovered her as he was leaving for work the next morning. It has been grueling and my husband and I, like you and many others, have a lot of guilt. It's part of what we have to work through. The guilt I am still struggling with. I want you to know that the horrendous suffering does ease! Unfortunately, we have to walk through it first. Please take care of yourself. That is very important right now. I worked out three days a week for the first year after Cassie died. It helped to relieve some of the tremendous stress that I was under. I also started reading a lot of grief books and found this site within a week of Cassie dying. It helped me to read about and listen to other's stories because I felt that no one else understand what I was going through. Unfortunately, there are many who do. I truly hope you can find some peaceful moments and please allow yourself to enjoy them! Jayne Taylor Dear Jennifer,

I am so very sorry to hear about your precious son. Your situation is very similar to mine. On July 23, 2007, we lost our beautiful daughter Cassie to a drug overdose. She was with “friends” that night who left her in our van outside the house all night. My husband discovered her as he was leaving for work the next morning. It has been grueling and my husband and I, like you and many others, have a lot of guilt. It’s part of what we have to work through. The guilt I am still struggling with. I want you to know that the horrendous suffering does ease! Unfortunately, we have to walk through it first. Please take care of yourself. That is very important right now. I worked out three days a week for the first year after Cassie died. It helped to relieve some of the tremendous stress that I was under. I also started reading a lot of grief books and found this site within a week of Cassie dying. It helped me to read about and listen to other’s stories because I felt that no one else understand what I was going through. Unfortunately, there are many who do.

I truly hope you can find some peaceful moments and please allow yourself to enjoy them!

Jayne Taylor

]]> Comment on Ten Things Every New Widow Should Know to Survive by pat http://thegriefblog.com/grief/death-and-dying/death-of-a-spouse/ten-things-every-new-widow-should-know-to-survive/comment-page-1/#comment-110546 pat Mon, 08 Mar 2010 07:28:52 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/grief/death-and-dying/death-of-a-spouse/ten-things-every-new-widow-should-know-to-survive/#comment-110546 I lost my husband on Oct 17,2008. We were married 20 years. My husband was 51 when he died. After reading many of your comments, I would just like to say, NO, you're not crazy, I felt many of those ways for the first 6 months. And some things I still continue to struggle with. I would definitely urge you all, don't make any major changes until the fog has completely lifted. Major decisions may seem right at the time, but they will bite you in the end. And don't beat yourself up for making them anyway!!! If you can afford to stay in your home if you have children, do it. Redecorating took away that feeling that I couldn't bear to be around all the memories. And staying in our home helped my 3 teenage children to feel secure. Today, someone made the comment to me that I should get remarried. A year ago I would never have even entertained the thought. But today, even though I am not ready to do that, I can see that if God brought someone into my life again, I could see that I might do that. I am just now able to begin a new life as 4 in our family. I don't wake up with that horrible pit in my stomach anymore. I think about the future of me and the kids. I am able to use all my brain instead of half of it. I am able to receive what is offered in the way of help to fix things around my house, or help with picking up my kids, and even people giving me money for groceries. It is a new life, one I would never have picked, but I trust the Lord and I am relying on Him to bring me through this journey. I lost my husband on Oct 17,2008. We were married 20 years. My husband was 51 when he died. After reading many of your comments, I would just like to say, NO, you’re not crazy, I felt many of those ways for the first 6 months. And some things I still continue to struggle with. I would definitely urge you all, don’t make any major changes until the fog has completely lifted. Major decisions may seem right at the time, but they will bite you in the end. And don’t beat yourself up for making them anyway!!! If you can afford to stay in your home if you have children, do it. Redecorating took away that feeling that I couldn’t bear to be around all the memories. And staying in our home helped my 3 teenage children to feel secure.
Today, someone made the comment to me that I should get remarried. A year ago I would never have even entertained the thought. But today, even though I am not ready to do that, I can see that if God brought someone into my life again, I could see that I might do that. I am just now able to begin a new life as 4 in our family. I don’t wake up with that horrible pit in my stomach anymore. I think about the future of me and the kids. I am able to use all my brain instead of half of it. I am able to receive what is offered in the way of help to fix things around my house, or help with picking up my kids, and even people giving me money for groceries. It is a new life, one I would never have picked, but I trust the Lord and I am relying on Him to bring me through this journey.

]]> Comment on Its ok to have a messy house sometimes and its ok really ok to b happy . by Linda Della Donna http://thegriefblog.com/grief/blog/bereavement-support/its-ok-to-have-a-messy-house-sometimes-and-its-ok-really-ok-to-b-happy/comment-page-1/#comment-110455 Linda Della Donna Sat, 06 Mar 2010 17:29:38 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/?p=7245#comment-110455 Hello Jennifer, Try not to be so hard on yourself. The grief road is a never-ending journey each of us must take. You have done nothing wrong. I applaud your getting out there so soon after your husband's death. I have no doubt you were faithful. You're a good woman and I enjoyed reading your comment above. Thank you for sharing. Just remember, we're not alone. Keep smiling. You're beautiful. Hugs, Linda Della Donna Founder/Director www.griefcase.net www.bookorbust.blogspot.com Hello Jennifer,

Try not to be so hard on yourself. The grief road is a never-ending journey each of us must take. You have done nothing wrong. I applaud your getting out there so soon after your husband’s death. I have no doubt you were faithful. You’re a good woman and I enjoyed reading your comment above. Thank you for sharing. Just remember, we’re not alone. Keep smiling. You’re beautiful.

Hugs,

Linda Della Donna
Founder/Director
http://www.griefcase.net
http://www.bookorbust.blogspot.com

]]> Comment on A Young Widow Tells Her Story by sk http://thegriefblog.com/grief/bereavement/grief/a-young-widow-tells-her-story/comment-page-1/#comment-110442 sk Sat, 06 Mar 2010 12:01:02 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/grief/grief/a-young-widow-tells-her-story/#comment-110442 I lost my dear husband last year. It was just one year after our marriage. He was 32 when he passed away all of a sudden due to massive cardiac arrest. It was a usual day and he went to the doctor saying he had gastric problem and i was at home cooking our lunch. I got a call from the hospital that i need to be there as it is an emergency. I did not know what to do and i went there. I asked the doctors where is my husband....they asked me to relax and took me to a place....and it was to the mortuary...i was SHOCKED....i did not know what to do...what happended....they showed me his body and i was feeling totally mad...dont know how to express that shock...when i saw my love, my soulmate lying like this all of a sudden...only thing life has taught me is that I am unfortunate....very unfortunate...am just praying God everyday, everyminute to take me where my husband has gone...i need to talk to him..tell him lot of things, do a lot of things...ask a lot of things...why did God do this to me? I lost my dear husband last year. It was just one year after our marriage. He was 32 when he passed away all of a sudden due to massive cardiac arrest. It was a usual day and he went to the doctor saying he had gastric problem and i was at home cooking our lunch. I got a call from the hospital that i need to be there as it is an emergency. I did not know what to do and i went there. I asked the doctors where is my husband….they asked me to relax and took me to a place….and it was to the mortuary…i was SHOCKED….i did not know what to do…what happended….they showed me his body and i was feeling totally mad…dont know how to express that shock…when i saw my love, my soulmate lying like this all of a sudden…only thing life has taught me is that I am unfortunate….very unfortunate…am just praying God everyday, everyminute to take me where my husband has gone…i need to talk to him..tell him lot of things, do a lot of things…ask a lot of things…why did God do this to me?

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