Comments for Grief | Grieving | Grief and Loss http://thegriefblog.com Thu, 28 Aug 2008 20:24:08 +0000 http://wordpress.org/?v=2.5.1 Comment on Dialog re: Dr. Francesca McCartney on Healing the Grieving Heart by Sandy http://thegriefblog.com/grief/bereavement/grief/dialog-re-dr-francesca-mccartney-on-healing-the-grieving-heart/#comment-42575 Sandy Thu, 28 Aug 2008 08:40:53 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/grief/grief/dialog-re-dr-francesca-mccartney-on-healing-the-grieving-heart/#comment-42575 The reason why I am here,is because we have just lost our son.I came across this blog and found it very interesting.In the back of my mind,I keep saying to myself, calm down,it will be ok.Forget about that ache in your stomach.Tums are your friend.I only eat when my husband comes home at night.I have times in the day when I could throw up any minute.This is my story. In 1994 I lost my maternal Grandfather,he was such a beautiful servant of God.He was the Rock to all of his children.My Grandmother was lost without him,i spent alot of time with her,i was from out of state,terrible,the house caught on fire and burned to the ground,to much for Grandma,she died 1 1/2yrs after Grandpa.My mother ,who lived on the property in a different house had many strokes.She could not walk and at times could not talk.My parents had been divorced for several yrs.Dad lived in the same state i did,he was diagnosed w/infazema.I told Dad I would always be there.My husband was transfered out of state,we took Dad w/us.We had hospiceand I lost my lovely Daddy.Mom was in a nursing home so i went between states,me and my dog.When i lost my Dad I could feel something hard starting to protrude in my stomach.I was always thin so i felt it right away.We had moved and I did not have a doctor.I was bleeding alot,I thought it was menopause,i was 45.It was 1 1/2yrs later,my brother called and said San,you need to come now,it's bad.I laid by my Mamas' side for 3 days,I could not believe..she got worse...she died and my insides just! I cried for 5 yrs straight from 1995 untill 2000.one day I was like wow i have not cried.Then I got really sick,we went back to the state where we lived because it did not work out,I was so distrought w/ having to leave my Dad in the state i brought him to.I ended up in the ER hemorrhageing/could barely think.They did a catscan I had a very large tumor and when the doctor examined me she noticed moles on my midriff.They turned out to be malignant melanoma stage 3 and my tumor weighed 10 lbs and they did deep lymph surgery to make sure it did not spread.I was a mess. I had always been the picture of health, I had my appendics out in high school. Molecular biology..I'm not sure what it is but i do believe my body went through something.We have just lost our 39yr old son,our 1st child,the autopsy was inconclusive,we are waiting.i am trying really hard not to fall back into the molecule thing. I remember telling my friend back when,I can't explain it,it feels like something is just sucking your blood out and you cannot control it. I feel really,really sick.I have no control of my tears.I want to stay healthy for my husband and our other son. I do not believe in drugs.I know what happened to me previously and I am trying very hard for this not to happen again.Can you help me? Can you point me in the right direction to people who can?I know i am grieving,this happened 7/09/08.I just do not want to fall into the physical melt down that i had. I do believe it defintely was something that biologicaly took over my body. Yes,I know people try to be kind and tell you ,time will heal.I believe that,yet when your body does what it is going to do,what can i do? The reason why I am here,is because we have just lost our son.I came across this blog and found it very interesting.In the back of my mind,I keep saying to myself, calm down,it will be ok.Forget about that ache in your stomach.Tums are your friend.I only eat when my husband comes home at night.I have times in the day when I could throw up any minute.This is my story.
In 1994 I lost my maternal Grandfather,he was such a beautiful servant of God.He was the Rock to all of his children.My Grandmother was lost without him,i spent alot of time with her,i was from out of state,terrible,the house caught on fire and burned to the ground,to much for Grandma,she died 1 1/2yrs after Grandpa.My mother ,who lived on the property in a different house had many strokes.She could not walk and at times could not talk.My parents had been divorced for several yrs.Dad lived in the same state i did,he was diagnosed w/infazema.I told Dad I would always be there.My husband was transfered out of state,we took Dad w/us.We had hospiceand I lost my lovely Daddy.Mom was in a nursing home so i went between states,me and my dog.When i lost my Dad I could feel something hard starting to protrude in my stomach.I was always thin so i felt it right away.We had moved and I did not have a doctor.I was bleeding alot,I thought it was menopause,i was 45.It was 1 1/2yrs later,my brother called and said San,you need to come now,it’s bad.I laid by my Mamas’ side for 3 days,I could not believe..she got worse…she died and my insides just! I cried for 5 yrs straight from 1995 untill 2000.one day I was like wow i have not cried.Then I got really sick,we went back to the state where we lived because it did not work out,I was so distrought w/ having to leave my Dad in the state i brought him to.I ended up in the ER hemorrhageing/could barely think.They did a catscan I had a very large tumor and when the doctor examined me she noticed moles on my midriff.They turned out to be malignant melanoma stage 3 and my tumor weighed 10 lbs and they did deep lymph surgery to make sure it did not spread.I was a mess. I had always been the picture of health, I had my appendics out in high school. Molecular biology..I’m not sure what it is but i do believe my body went through something.We have just lost our 39yr old son,our 1st child,the autopsy was inconclusive,we are waiting.i am trying really hard not to fall back into the molecule thing. I remember telling my friend back when,I can’t explain it,it feels like something is just sucking your blood out and you cannot control it. I feel really,really sick.I have no control of my tears.I want to stay healthy for my husband and our other son. I do not believe in drugs.I know what happened to me previously and I am trying very hard for this not to happen again.Can you help me? Can you point me in the right direction to people who can?I know i am grieving,this happened 7/09/08.I just do not want to fall into the physical melt down that i had. I do believe it defintely was something that biologicaly took over my body. Yes,I know people try to be kind and tell you ,time will heal.I believe that,yet when your body does what it is going to do,what can i do?

]]> Comment on Why We Need to Talk About Grief by Mary Lee Gregg http://thegriefblog.com/grief/death-and-dying/death-of-a-spouse/why-we-need-to-talk-about-grief/#comment-42565 Mary Lee Gregg Thu, 28 Aug 2008 06:41:31 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/?p=1062#comment-42565 I loss my son to a terrible car crash only 14 days ago. Pain is unbearable even though I am a true believer and that he went home two weeks ago. The missing is so great and unbearable, it cannot be described. Why? there are alot of these. I try not to question God but I believe it is a natural thing to do. The pain is excruciating, the loss unbearable. As a Mom, this will never end. May fad in intensity but never be forgotten. All the memories. I just want to run to the ocean screan over the waves til I am hoarse. That is what I need to do for me. It won't bring him back to me but maybe I can release some of the horrible panic I feel. I wll most definiety see David one day , when It is my time to leave this misserable world . But just what do I do til then? Mother, Mary Lee Gregg I loss my son to a terrible car crash only 14 days ago. Pain is unbearable even
though I am a true believer and that he went home two weeks ago. The missing
is so great and unbearable, it cannot be described. Why? there are alot of these.
I try not to question God but I believe it is a natural thing to do. The pain is excruciating, the loss unbearable. As a Mom, this will never end. May fad in
intensity but never be forgotten. All the memories. I just want to run to the ocean
screan over the waves til I am hoarse. That is what I need to do for me. It won’t
bring him back to me but maybe I can release some of the horrible panic I feel.
I wll most definiety see David one day , when It is my time to leave this misserable world . But just what do I do til then?
Mother, Mary Lee Gregg

]]> Comment on The Presence of His Absence is Everywhere by Karin http://thegriefblog.com/grief/bereavement/grief/the-presence-of-his-absence-is-everywhere/#comment-42504 Karin Wed, 27 Aug 2008 17:24:57 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/grief/grief/the-presence-of-his-absence-is-everywhere/#comment-42504 I read what you wrote and know just how you feel. I lost my daughter almost 3 yrs ago. The pain of it was unreal. I did not think I would ever be the same. Just when I thought I was ready to get a job after all this time and start taking steps that my family needed from me so bad my 16 yr old son took his own life. That was just 2 weeks ago. my hands are shaking so bad while i type this. I had two kids and now they are both gone. My son was the one thing that did keep me going. I knew I had to be there for him. I had to get up every day and give him a family life. I loved him so much I did everything for him. I was the one that found him. He was a happy kid more friends that I ever had. He was so great. I will never know why. His best friends have no clue why. All I know is that in less than 3yrs I have lost my daughter age 9 who drowned, My father past away, my sister who was always there for me passed away at 42, My son at 16 who took his own life. I am taking one day at a time and I will not leave the rest of my family the way my son did. I have to ask will they ever know how much work it is for me to keep going?????? Karin I read what you wrote and know just how you feel. I lost my daughter almost 3 yrs ago. The pain of it was unreal. I did not think I would ever be the same. Just when I thought I was ready to get a job after all this time and start taking steps that my family needed from me so bad my 16 yr old son took his own life. That was just 2 weeks ago. my hands are shaking so bad while i type this. I had two kids and now they are both gone. My son was the one thing that did keep me going. I knew I had to be there for him. I had to get up every day and give him a family life. I loved him so much I did everything for him. I was the one that found him. He was a happy kid more friends that I ever had. He was so great. I will never know why. His best friends have no clue why. All I know is that in less than 3yrs I have lost my daughter age 9 who drowned, My father past away, my sister who was always there for me passed away at 42, My son at 16 who took his own life. I am taking one day at a time and I will not leave the rest of my family the way my son did. I have to ask will they ever know how much work it is for me to keep going??????

Karin

]]> Comment on I Need to Learn How to Cope by Marcy http://thegriefblog.com/grief/bereavement/grief/i-need-to-learn-how-to-cope-2/#comment-42489 Marcy Wed, 27 Aug 2008 15:08:45 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/grief/grief/i-need-to-learn-how-to-cope-2/#comment-42489 Hello, My Mother passed away 5 months ago from a sudden heart attack one morning. Im in so much shock and hurt and disbelief at this point in my life. I was living with my Mother along with my 2 sisters 1 older and 1 younger. My younger sister was so dependant on my mother that she has no clue how to get her life going, she never worked in her 26 yrs of living and she completed high school and never continued with schooling. Right now my older sister and I are taking over the bills and supporting my sister...but it exstremly hard. Its been 5 months and I hav'nt even told more than 5 people that I lost my Mom cause I just cant deal with the exceptance and pain of losing her. What do I do? I so Depressed but still trying to move on with my life. Hello,

My Mother passed away 5 months ago from a sudden heart attack one morning. Im in so much shock and hurt and disbelief at this point in my life. I was living with my Mother along with my 2 sisters 1 older and 1 younger. My younger sister was so dependant on my mother that she has no clue how to get her life going, she never worked in her 26 yrs of living and she completed high school and never continued with schooling. Right now my older sister and I are taking over the bills and supporting my sister…but it exstremly hard. Its been 5 months and I hav’nt even told more than 5 people that I lost my Mom cause I just cant deal with the exceptance and pain of losing her. What do I do? I so Depressed but still trying to move on with my life.

]]> Comment on Kidz Love Soccer flyer by stacey http://thegriefblog.com/grief/dealing-with-grief/kidz-love-soccer-flyer/#comment-42405 stacey Tue, 26 Aug 2008 22:34:03 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/?p=1071#comment-42405 Kim, I stumbled upon your post while looking for a soccer program for my son and ended up reading your entry. I'm sitting here now in tears devastated for you and imagining what no mother ever wants to imagine - life without my son. While I can think of nothing to say to soothe your grief that I'm sure is just as deep at times as it was 2 1/2 years ago, I do want to thank you. Thank you for posting and reminding me just how tenuous this balance of life is, how lucky I am to have my childre and how I should be grateful for every moment. Thinking of you and Joseph. Thank you for touching my life. Stacey Kim,
I stumbled upon your post while looking for a soccer program for my son and ended up reading your entry. I’m sitting here now in tears devastated for you and imagining what no mother ever wants to imagine - life without my son.
While I can think of nothing to say to soothe your grief that I’m sure is just as deep at times as it was 2 1/2 years ago, I do want to thank you. Thank you for posting and reminding me just how tenuous this balance of life is, how lucky I am to have my childre and how I should be grateful for every moment.
Thinking of you and Joseph. Thank you for touching my life.

Stacey

]]> Comment on My Son Died of A Drug Overdose by Mona Graham http://thegriefblog.com/grief/bereavement/grief/my-son-die-of-a-drug-overdose/#comment-42259 Mona Graham Tue, 26 Aug 2008 04:10:03 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/grief/grief/my-son-die-of-a-drug-overdose/#comment-42259 Dear Tom I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, have lost my son (my only child) to a drug overdose -- he was 30 years old. Tonight is the eve before his death, 4 years ago. I have to say, my tears still flow! I miss him mightily, and would give everything for just one of his hugs. I wish you and your family my best along with the hope you will find the peace that surpasses understanding. Mona Dear Tom

I am so sorry for your loss. I, too, have lost my son (my only child) to a drug overdose — he was 30 years old. Tonight is the eve before his death, 4 years ago. I have to say, my tears still flow! I miss him mightily, and would give everything for just one of his hugs.

I wish you and your family my best along with the hope you will find the peace that surpasses understanding.

Mona

]]> Comment on How Do We Go On? by Debra Reagan http://thegriefblog.com/grief/bereavement/1136/#comment-42169 Debra Reagan Mon, 25 Aug 2008 12:33:59 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/?p=1136#comment-42169 Dearest Pravesh, I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son. I wish I could be there to give you a big hug. Three months ago is so recent and the pain is so great. It has been three years since the death of our son. In the early days, you must take each moment at a time. Give yourself persmission to grieve in your own way and in your own time. Take care of yourself. As mothers we are not always accustomed to taking care of ourselves first, but you must take care of yourself. The weight can seem almost unbearable at times, but you do not have to carry it alone. Find a friend or a group with which you can share this burden. I have found my burden has become more manageable now. I miss my child and always will. But, I have found a peaceful place in my heart to carry him and all our memories. I am learning to live with the pain, and I am learning that I can again carry joy again along with this pain. When I was where you are now, I never would have believed I could reach the place I am now. So for now, take one small step at a time. Don't rush yourself. We hurt so much because we loved so much. Gentle Hugs, Debra Reagan Clint's mom http://clint-reagan.memory-of.com Dearest Pravesh,
I am so sorry for the loss of your precious son. I wish I could be there to give you a big hug. Three months ago is so recent and the pain is so great. It has been three years since the death of our son. In the early days, you must take each moment at a time. Give yourself persmission to grieve in your own way and in your own time. Take care of yourself. As mothers we are not always accustomed to taking care of ourselves first, but you must take care of yourself.

The weight can seem almost unbearable at times, but you do not have to carry it alone. Find a friend or a group with which you can share this burden. I have found my burden has become more manageable now. I miss my child and always will. But, I have found a peaceful place in my heart to carry him and all our memories. I am learning to live with the pain, and I am learning that I can again carry joy again along with this pain.

When I was where you are now, I never would have believed I could reach the place I am now. So for now, take one small step at a time. Don’t rush yourself. We hurt so much because we loved so much.

Gentle Hugs,
Debra Reagan
Clint’s mom
http://clint-reagan.memory-of.com

]]> Comment on Kelli’s Mom Is Trying To Help Stop Drunk Drivers by Debbie Wershbale http://thegriefblog.com/grief/bereavement/grief/kellis-mom-is-trying-to-help-stop-drunk-drivers/#comment-42063 Debbie Wershbale Sun, 24 Aug 2008 19:21:51 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/grief/grief/kellis-mom-is-trying-to-help-stop-drunk-drivers/#comment-42063 My son was also killed by a drunk driver, he died on 7/27/08 He was a fantastic man with everything going for him. He was loving and caring. He even helped save people during Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. He wasn't a police officer or anything, he did it on his own because that's how he was. The pain I feel is overbearing and I can barely function. I want to make a difference with drunk drivers also. This has to stop. My son was also killed by a drunk driver, he died on 7/27/08 He was a fantastic man with everything going for him. He was loving and caring. He even helped save people during Hurricane Katrina in New Orleans. He wasn’t a police officer or anything, he did it on his own because that’s how he was. The pain I feel is overbearing and I can barely function. I want to make a difference with drunk drivers also. This has to stop.

]]> Comment on Death From Cancer: A Poem About My Father by Reuben @ Living-With-Grief http://thegriefblog.com/grief/bereavement/grief/death-from-cancer-a-poem-about-my-father/#comment-41903 Reuben @ Living-With-Grief Sat, 23 Aug 2008 19:13:04 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/grief/grief/death-from-cancer-a-poem-about-my-father/#comment-41903 Suddenly, a date, a month, no longer seem the same. Forever, every year thereafter, they are associated with certain events.. events which forever form part of one's conscious and subconscious mind. Suddenly, a date, a month, no longer seem the same. Forever, every year thereafter, they are associated with certain events.. events which forever form part of one’s conscious and subconscious mind.

]]> Comment on Learning How You Can Start Over by Zoltan http://thegriefblog.com/grief/dealing-with-grief/learning-how-you-can-start-over/#comment-41803 Zoltan Sat, 23 Aug 2008 05:14:33 +0000 http://thegriefblog.com/?p=1116#comment-41803 As the old saying goes; the end of something is always the beginning of another thing. It's not the experience what matters it's your approach toward it what makes it negative or positive. As the old saying goes; the end of something is always the beginning of another thing.
It’s not the experience what matters it’s your approach toward it what makes it negative or positive.

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