Tally got hit by a car

 by Dr. Gloria Horsley

I was on my way to work on Friday when my son-in-law called to say the family dog, Tally, was hit and killed while chasing a squirrel across a busy highway.  My son-in-law said he and my four grand-children needed me.  I turned the car around and went back to the house.  My daughter, son-in-law and the grand-kids were in tears.  The kids were inconsolable.  My twelve-year-old grandson felt angry because they had let the dog off leash.
 
Ok, I know that those of us who have lost family members get really upset if loss of a person is compared to loss of a pet.  However, the family was very sad and I flashed back to my seven-teen year old son, Scott’s, death some years ago.  I hated seeing John and Rebecca and the kids in so much pain!!!   I was sad but being a pet lover it was not the first dog I had lost and probably won’t be the last.
 
 It has been three days now and they are recovering.  Their eyes and noses are red and their nerves are frayed.  Unlike loss of a person they are talking about replacing their pet.  The children are involved in disagreement on what type of dog to get.  All I can say is I know loss is part of life but losing still hurts.
 
My eight-year-old granddaughter said to her mother, “You talked about Uncle Scott but until now I didn’t know what it was like to lose something you loved.  I guess this is what loss feels like.”
 
Heidi and I talk on the show about not comparing losses and respecting others losses and this week I saw a prime example. 
 
Hit on comments and let me know what your thoughts are on pet loss and other losses.
 
Dr. Gloria

LOVE: When Your Widowed Parent Re-Marries…An Adult Child’s Perspective

Chances are that you grew up in a two-parent family, a mom and a dad. Went to a local school, away to college, married, had children of your own. And then, tragedy struck and your mother passed away, leaving your father a widower. He has mourned his loss and, in time, while still embracing the memories of your mother, met someone new and fallen in love, ready once again to enjoy a full life, perhaps to even re-marry, and you find yourself exchanging parenting roles as you concerns are not unlike that of your parents when you dated, fell in love and Read more

The Second Annual Mother’s Day Bereavement Ceremony - Vandalia, Ohio

This is from Holly Mutlu:
 
Wanted to email you and let you know that we will be hosting The Second Annual Mother’s Day Bereavement Ceremony Saturday, May 12th, 2007 at 11am.  This will include an uplifting service, a balloon launch and a free luncheon.  The whole service is free but we do ask that you register!
 
It is Saturday, May 12, at 11am at the Vandalia Christian Tabernacle in Vandalia, Ohio (located just off I-75)
The service is to honor both our children and the Mother’s on this special day.  There is a video tribute during the service, a balloon launch and then immediately following a free luncheon.  For more information or for free registration visit  www.vctchurch.com and click on the Mother’s Day Bereavement Ceremony link. (When the website comes up, click anywhere on the screen and it will take you to the church’s page.  Scroll down until you see “2nd Annual Mother’s Day Bereavement Ceremony.”)
 
Holly Mutlu
Director Women’s Ministries, VCT
and proud mom to Mia
 
 
I will put all of this information on the website.
 
Love from a fellow traveler,
Dinah
http://www.ucumberlands.edu/lamentations/

Twinlesstwins.org Launches New Website

My project putting up a new twin website www.twinlesstwins.org feels like it finally has some completion. It was a year long project for me and I am finally getting back into the groove of my regular work schedule. We are seeing results and new twins in need of support are contacting our organization. I met many wonderful people while doing research to obtain articles on giref, sibling and twin loss.
 
Please visit: http://twinlesstwins.org
 
There are additional resource articles which are not visible without a membership to TTSGI, along with other pages for members only. The web store is now open, and I have put a few affiliate stores. We sell twin t-shirts, jewelry, scrapbooks, books, pins and conference speaker cds. Chat groups on a variety of topics are forming.

As always- if you know a twin who has lost their twin- pass this info on: We just purchased the twinlesstwins.com name also.
 
Thanks for taking a moment to look at the site - it means a lot to me…a labor of love for sure.
 
Linda

Now Childless Conference to be Held April 20-22

The second Now Childless Conference is in the planning stages for April 20-22, 2007, at The Inn at Pima in Scottsdale, AZ.

To encourage those of you still needing to make a decision as to whether you will attend the
Conference, I want to give you some additional information that may help in that decision-making. Read more

Child Bereavement: Words of Comfort for a Child

Young people need as much time to grieve after the death of someone close, whether they show it or not. The most common issue for a parent is that the child doesn’t ‘seem’ to be distressed so they don’t want to upset them. Children are in a world where they are used to not having control over things and therefore often accept things quicker that doesn’t mean that it is ok with them though. Their feelings can be Read more

Helping Children Cope with Grief

Age is not a prerequisite to grief. Not unlike their parents, child must be allowed to experience the stages of grief. Denial of opportunity to “release” feelings, participate in family loss, and share in recovery can be very damaging to the health and well being of the child.

You do not have to be a psychologist or therapist to understand and use basic tools to address the needs of a grieving child. It does require recognition that “kids are people too,” and acceptance that their process of mending is no different than adults. Whether death or divorce, Read more

Supporting Our Grieving Children To Cope with Katrina and Other Losses

Children may feel the same feelings when they grieve as adults, yet their responses can be very different. In addition, every day through the media, images of death, loss, grief and violence are presented to not only adult eyes, but also the vulnerable eyes and hearts of our children. Adults barely have the tools and experience to process what they see intellectually and emotionally. Imagine how the younger and more vulnerable among us deal with this! Read more

When There Are No Words - Charlie Walton

HEALING THE GRIEVING HEART
When There Are No Words
Host: Dr. Gloria Horsley
With guest: Charlie Walton
May 4, 2006

G: Hello. I’m Dr. Gloria Horsley with my co-host Dr. Heidi Horsley. Welcome to Healing the Grieving Heart, a show of hope and renewal for those who have suffered the loss of a sibling or a child. Well, this morning, Heid, as oftentimes we read our emails in the morning but I have some questions that I got at the Compassionate Friends chapter leader training program that I thought might be fun for you and me and our guest to go over today and so I want to give people our toll free number to start with. If they’d like to join our show today, our number is 1-866-472-5792. And please join us with questions or comments regarding the losses in your life. You can also email Heidi or me through our website www.healingthegrievingheart.org. These shows are all archived 24 hours a day, 7 days a week on Read more

Learning to Live Again After Loss - Alan Pedersen

HEALING THE GRIEVING HEART
Learning to Live Again After Loss
Host: Dr. Gloria Horsley
With guest: Alan Pedersen
March 30, 2006

G: Hello. I’m Dr. Gloria Horsley with my co-host Dr. Heidi Horsley. Welcome to the show today. We’re so happy to have you on Healing the Grieving Heart. Heidi and I want this to be a show of hope, friendship and renewal for those who suffer the loss of a child. Well, Heid, I want to start out the show by reading an email we had. We get some wonderful emails from our guests and from people who are out there in our audience. We want you to keep emailing us because we know that your comments are the comments that other people are feeling out there. This email is from Diane from Alabama and Diane tells us that her daughter, Ashley, at age 18 was murdered May 16, 2004.
H: Oh, not very long ago. Read more

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