Grief | Grieving | Death of a Child

When we got the call at 2 AM last Saturday, I hopped out of bed with the thought that anyone faced with a ring in the middle of the night would have: “Who in the world would be calling us at this hour?”

I looked at caller ID and, not recognizing the number—and seeing that it was not Nick, our son away at college some thirteen hours from home—I yawned and crawled back into bed, pulling the down covers way up over my head. Read the rest of this entry »

Heidi and I are watching the news as we know all of our listeners are regarding the Virginia Massacre.  Our heart goes out to all those who have been impacted by this tragedy and to our families and guests who are reliving their own loss experiences.  Shock and denial are in full swing.  That one person gone wrong could impact so many lives is heart breaking. For those who are reliving their own experiences please take care of yourselves. You may need to turn off the television and toss the newspapers.  Drink lots of water and go for a walk.  Call a friend. Visit your church.  Light a candle on Scott’s site for your children and the children of Virginia.  Do whatever you need to do to get through this time.  Remember, you do not walk alone, others have made it and so can you.  Dr. Gloria

Since the 1960s, psychologists known as Thanatologists have given especial attention to the needs of the patients who know they are dying. The Thanatologists study and analyze the surroundings of persons who approach death. These psychologists also examine the inner experiences of such persons. These experts have identified many stages that these patients as well as their near and dear ones experience. The Thanatologists have identified the following stages of dying persons, viz., ?No, Not me!? (isolation and denial); ?Why me?? (anger, rage, Read the rest of this entry »

Dealing with any kind of loss with a child or children is a task that most adults dread. Best friends can move away, a car can kill a favorite pet, a schoolmate can be killed in an auto accident, and Grandma may die suddenly are all situations that parents can face. In any case, a parent should handle the loss with dignity and quality so the child learns how to deal by comparison. Read the rest of this entry »

Grieving is part of the realities of life. Losing a loved one is one of the most painful and profound losses of all. Every one of us has experienced or will experience grief at some time in our lives. It is a devastating feeling of sadness and loss. Often times this process is accompanied by physical aches, pains and even serious illness. Read the rest of this entry »

1) Don’t try to make the grieving person feel better. YOU CANNOT. For many grievers it only serves to make them feel guilty or worse. Grievers MUST experience the pain of grief for healing to ultimately occur.

2) Don’t tell the griever to give it time. Time has stopped for the griever. Life proceeds in slow motion. Life is too surreal to be identified with time. Read the rest of this entry »

Many reasons for death are given to those who have lost someone close to them. Some of these reasons, while well intentioned, do not provide any comfort. Most often, people suffering through the loss of a loved one or friend are not ready to have legitimate answers given until later. It is completely natural, however, to ask “Why?” This is in response to the sense of a lack of reasoning on “why bad things happen to good people.” To ask is expected; but to get a satisfying answer is not expected. People dealing with grief may be ready at a later date for philosophical explanations, but for the first few weeks following the death is not a good time to give answers; that may come later. Read the rest of this entry »

Many reasons for death are given to those who have lost someone close to them. Some of these reasons, while well intentioned, do not provide any comfort. Most often, people suffering through the loss of a loved one or friend are not ready to have legitimate answers given until later. There are helpful reasons, however, to give to someone when their suffering may seem so senseless.We suffer as a result of living in a fallen world. (Matthew 5:45) Read the rest of this entry »

Men grieve differently from women. Our cultural roles make it difficult for men to look for support, and harder again to accept it. Men are so often silent, solitary mourners who immerse themselves in activity and private, symbolic rituals. They feel profoundly, but often can’t express the depth of their loss. Read the rest of this entry »

No one likes to think about illness and death, when we are well, we feel invincible and there is nothing that can prepare us for the shock and devastation of a terminal diagnosis. The knowledge that we can no longer take our lives or the lives we share with our loved ones for granted takes away our ability to plan for the future and removes hope from our lives. When a loved one becomes terminally ill, we grieve in anticipation of their death, we grieve for the loss of them in our lives and we grieve for our own mortality. Read the rest of this entry »