Grief | Grieving | Death of a Child

Many, many questions arise in our minds when someone close to us is seriously ill. It takes a while to realize that these questions do not have one answer. They have many answers, appear in different ways, and may have different impacts on us at different times. In a sense a finger is being pointed in our direction. These questions are demanding a response.. We cannot be free from answering. Life itself is demanding a reply. Read the rest of this entry »

Since the 1960s, psychologists known as Thanatologists have given especial attention to the needs of the patients who know they are dying. The Thanatologists study and analyze the surroundings of persons who approach death. These psychologists also examine the inner experiences of such persons. These experts have identified many stages that these patients as well as their near and dear ones experience. The Thanatologists have identified the following stages of dying persons, viz., ?No, Not me!? (isolation and denial); ?Why me?? (anger, rage, Read the rest of this entry »

Dealing with any kind of loss with a child or children is a task that most adults dread. Best friends can move away, a car can kill a favorite pet, a schoolmate can be killed in an auto accident, and Grandma may die suddenly are all situations that parents can face. In any case, a parent should handle the loss with dignity and quality so the child learns how to deal by comparison. Read the rest of this entry »

I am among those who know that one never recovers from the loss of one deeply loved. We come to accept the death and adjust our lives - rather begrudingly, but we do not recover, we survive. Somewhere in the grief process, we make the decision to survive and then we are emotionally enabled to build a different kind of relationship with our deceased loved one.

Mother, I Don’t Mind The Pain

When you died my dearest, blessed mother,

I had no sights or thoughts for tomorrow.

My soul experienced a wrenching eruption Read the rest of this entry »

Grieving is part of the realities of life. Losing a loved one is one of the most painful and profound losses of all. Every one of us has experienced or will experience grief at some time in our lives. It is a devastating feeling of sadness and loss. Often times this process is accompanied by physical aches, pains and even serious illness. Read the rest of this entry »

1) Don’t try to make the grieving person feel better. YOU CANNOT. For many grievers it only serves to make them feel guilty or worse. Grievers MUST experience the pain of grief for healing to ultimately occur.

2) Don’t tell the griever to give it time. Time has stopped for the griever. Life proceeds in slow motion. Life is too surreal to be identified with time. Read the rest of this entry »

In November of 2005, my uncle passed away from non-Hodgkin’s Lymphoma. He was my very favorite uncle and he is greatly missed. He was a resident of Seasons of Life Hospice, here in Parma. The hospice team provided him, my family, and me with such wonderful care and support and we are deeply grateful. We shall never forget their kindness and thoughtfulness. Read the rest of this entry »

I heard a shotgun blast. I must have been hit because I was down and felt it in my stomach. I was lying on the ground of a parking lot in the dark scared, hurt and alone, not knowing if I would live or die. It seemed so real, even though it was a dream.

This dream, after my father died, helped me understand the shock and physical hurt I was going through. I had never experienced the loss of someone I loved and it hit me in the gut. It was as if a part of me had died. And it had. Especially the part of me who reserved things like “dying” for other families, not mine. Read the rest of this entry »

After the death of a loved one some families make quilts from their loved one’s clothes. Other families compile memory books. I did something different for my family; I made a memory cook book. After my mother-in-law died my sister-in-law and I looked through her old recipe box. Actually, there were four boxes, and the recipes inside were grouped loosely into categories. Read the rest of this entry »

Many reasons for death are given to those who have lost someone close to them. Some of these reasons, while well intentioned, do not provide any comfort. Most often, people suffering through the loss of a loved one or friend are not ready to have legitimate answers given until later. It is completely natural, however, to ask “Why?” This is in response to the sense of a lack of reasoning on “why bad things happen to good people.” To ask is expected; but to get a satisfying answer is not expected. People dealing with grief may be ready at a later date for philosophical explanations, but for the first few weeks following the death is not a good time to give answers; that may come later. Read the rest of this entry »