Grief | Grieving | Death of a Child

I was wondering if someone out there could help me to understand or help my daughter (Jacquie). My son-in-law Clinton passed away from melanoma cancer in June of 2006. They together had 3 children and were very much in love with each other. Clinton was 36 years old and a very wonderful husband, father and son-in-law. The concern that I am having is that my daughter is not going through the grieving process. When Clinton was diagnosed with the cancer metastisizing to the brain Jacquie fell apart for a little bit and then she just seemed to run, such as just not being at home by going to the store-etc. When Clinton passed about 6 months later Jacquie just seemed to take it in stride, she cried some but all in all she seemed to be dealing with it very well. I figured that she was dealing with it in her own way because she has been through an extreme amount of difficult things in her life and has learned how to cope, but I think that her coping is just to go into denial. Clinton’s best friend and cousins name was Alton whom he was very close to also. Read the rest of this entry »

On Oct 8th 2007, the father of my two boys was murdered. I had no other boyfreinds before him and he was all I knew for the 12 yrs we were together. We had our share of problems as he struggled with drug use, which led to his eventual death. Yet despite of our problems I we loved each other unconditionally, now that he is gone I’m hurting so much that I find it hard to function sometimes, Read the rest of this entry »

My family were killed in a car crash in Croatia. My husband, Matthew, was 40; and our daughter, Tegan, was 4. The driver of the car, our friend, - Sinisa - was in his 30’s and about to be married in a few weeks to Branka. They were driving in the early summer evening back from the coast to the city. Two men were racing their cars down to the coast and at speed crossed the double line around a blind corner. They forced Sinisa’s car off the road and into a cliff. Matthew, Tegan and Sinsia were killed on impact wit h the oncoming cars and their car exploded into flame. The racers sped away to saftey. But the life of Sinisa, Matthew and Tegan - as well as mine - ended at 5pm European time on 27 May 2006. Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Jodie,
I can relate to your grief. I just lost my husband on Sept 18, 2007, suddenly, to an unexpected illness-viral enciphilitis. He was also healthy prior. Now, I’m left with our very young daughters to raise. He was the world to us.He left behind a platoon of friends and family members that loved him so much. He was a caring, kind, selfless, father and husband. The shock of it all is incredible to me. One day we had a perfectly normal day, and next thing you know, he’s in a medically induced coma for next several weeks. No chance to say I love you again or even to say goodbye.
My 4 year old is just devastated and of course, troubled by his death. I am having a hard time talking about this with many people. And reading this blogsite is helping relate with other widows.
So, thank you all for listening.   Susan

Dear Susan,

We are so sorry for your loss. We welcome you to the group of wonderful people who reach out with love to others who also have experienced such great and sudden loss. Reaching out to others seems to facilitate healing and we hope that is true for you. Read the rest of this entry »

It’s almost like a relief to read thoughts from another person that I can actually relate to. Sometimes you get tired of explaining yourself to those who couldn’t possibly understand what you are feeling because they haven’t experienced what you have experienced. I was widowed at age 28, I am now 31. I lost my husband in March 2005 to a car accident on our oldest daughter’s 13th birthday. I was actually searching for grieving counselors for her when I came across this site (very glad I found it). Read the rest of this entry »

Dear Friends of the Grief Blog,
Heather’s note to her friend, who just lost her husband, reminds us all how difficult it is for the school year to start without our special people.  Heather is a school teacher and my daughter and Heidi’s sister.  I wanted to share this note with all of you because I was so touched with how she shared her brother’s death in order to help a friend.  Thanks for all of you and take special care of yourselves for the next few weeks.  Dr. Gloria 
 
Gloria C. Horsley Ph.D.

Melinda,

Hope the first days of school are happy for your girls. Probably best for them to be back in the routine. Probably hard that dad’s not around for those first days. Hard on you and them. Anyway my brother died in a car accident when I was 14 and my mother and sister have devoted their lives to helping people understand and cope with death. 
My sister actually moved to Manhattan to work on a study with Columbia University on sudden death, it is a 9/11 study, but she obviously deals with a lot of widows. Anyway they have a radio show and it is on the internet on Thursdays, it deals with all kinds of  deaths.
 I know that on Sept 6 they are doing widows, where are they now 6 years after the death. They also have a blog and both love to talk and you are welcome to email them. You can tell them you’re my friend  in Park City (I’ve told them about you). My sister is also a child psychologist so she works a lot with kids. There is a place here called the Sharing Place, it’s in SLC and it’s for kids.

Anyway if you don’t catch the show it’s recorded and you can listen anytime in the future. If you need anything let me know.

I am thinking about you and your family.
Truly,
Heather Johnson

hheidih@aol.com (my sister)
gloriahorsley@yahoo.com (my mom)

www.healingthegrievingheart.org    There is a lot of useful information here that can help.

Hi,
Ok i suppose I start by saying I lost my partner Michael on May 16th 2007 he was only 37 years old fit and healthy.I went to bed on that Tusday night late so Mick had been asleep for awhile then early hours Wednesday morning the twins woke me up they wanted a bottle so i got up to get them 1.On the way back to bed Mick passed me he went to the toilet and came back to bed.I was awake and he knew this but as soon as he got the covers up and got comfy I thought he started to snore so I wacked him and told him to stop snoring.Mick didnt answer me and the noise wasnt sounding to good so I jumped out of bed and turned the light on to find Mick having a seizure.I quickly ran out grabed my mobile and rang 000 at the same time grabing the maple syrup out of the fridge because Mick had type 1 diabities.I put some on my finger and put it around the inside of his lips, the seizures had stopped and he wasnt respondind to anything I cecked his breathing and found he wasnt breathing and had no pulse.I got ready to start cpr when the ambulance arrived.They worked on Mick for an hour and a half but nothing could be done he was gone.
His blood sugars were slightly high so that isnt what caused the seizure so I still dont know what killed him they say it can take up to 6 months here in australia. So from the time he got back into bed to the time he took his last breath was only 10 minutes.I miss him sooooooooo much and the hurt and pain is to much to bare at times, but i have to get up and do things because I have 1 year old twins and a 10 year old son to take care of.I love you Michael and will miss you forever a part of me died with you and until we meet again it will be lost for good.

Jody

Michael, 

Heart racing, shallow breaths,
the tears keep falling without rest.
For you left me without a goodbye,
softly in your sleep you did die.
Feelings of regret,need and dispare,
for you my angel i do care.
Memories creep in awake or asleep,
these are the little things i will keep.
Until we meet again my heart will ache,
but i will stay strong for our kids sake.

Love you Mick xxxxx

Jodie

My first wife died several weeks ago. We were married almost thirty years, we have four kids and four grandsons, and we were divorced four years ago.  Donna was sick for many years, and her body finally gave out. As sad as it was, it was also a relief. As I am fond of saying, The Angel of Death is not always an enemy, and in this case it was true. But as difficult as the last years might have been between us, her death created new and wrenching dilemmas for me and the kids. Read the rest of this entry »

I am a 32yr old Widow. I was almost 28 at the time of my husbands death due to a tragic car accident and just into my third month of marriage. This September would be a celebration of our 5yr wedding anniversary. Although, it is only July…I am having bitter-sweet memories & tear as that was the happiest day of my life. I was told by a friend last week that I basically shouldn’t be crying anymore! What??? The tears/sadness aren’t like they used to be, my pain is less often than the one year, two year, etc. I am getting out and wanting to meet men again, but I know I will always remember my husband. We were together many years before marrying and it isn’t something I can pretend didn’t happen. Right? I attended a grief group, counselors, specialists, etc. I know it’s ok to remember him and say his name. However his family doesn’t see it that way. I really don’t have much connection with our “circle of friend couples” either. I would just like to hear what someone from the outside has to say. I told my friend that I would never wish this on anyone, but you don’t know how I’m supposed to react until you’ve walked in my shoes. Believe me, I have made great progress & smile when I have a memory of him, etc. I was so lucky to have been his wife, even if it was for a little while. Thank you!