Grief | Grieving | Death of a Child

By Harriet Hodgson

Four months ago my daughter was killed in a car crash.  Her sudden death on a snowy night stunned her 15-year-old twins and sent shock waves through the entire family.  Many of us are still in shock.  I know I am.  One moment, I know my daughter is gone.  The next moment, I can’t believe it. Read the rest of this entry »

By Vaughn Balchunas

“You would know the secret of death.
But how shall you find it unless you seek it in the heart of life?
The owl whose night-bound eyes are blind unto the day cannot unveil the mystery of light.
If you would indeed behold the spirit of death, open your heart wide unto the body of life.
For life and death are one, even as the river and the sea are one.”
- Kahlil Gibran Read the rest of this entry »

By Harriet Hodgson

Crying comes with the grief territory. You may sob uncontrollably right after the death of your loved one. Later in the grief journey you may cry at odd times and in odd places. Worse, you may start to cry without any warning. These crying bouts may upset family, friends, and others around you. Read the rest of this entry »

We had first met at a Christian Teen Camp at Nanoose Bay, here on Vancouver Island, in mid July 1972. I was there, with 5 girlfriends as dishwashers, as none of our parents could afford the cost. He was standing quietly in front of the Lodge, with his bike, looking so very shy! I found myself wandering over, just to get a closer look, as he was so very handsome. I asked if he was staying at all, to which he replied ‘no’. He had just ridden down from Powell River to see this place he’d heard so much about. And as he was working at the Mill there, for his Dad, he’d have to be heading back pretty quick.
At the time, I was 16 and he was 17. We never saw each other again, until early 2000. Read the rest of this entry »

By Steve Goltiao

If you are looking for something a little special as a funeral keepsake to remember those loved ones who have now departed, look no further than the ideas that are provided below.

1.  Remembrance Heart Read the rest of this entry »

Child of Mine

The child I brought into this world
Is no longer of this world

Yes it is not like the first year
When it was hard to catch my breath

Awakening each morning with the searing pain
Not wanting to believe he was really gone Read the rest of this entry »

By Elaine Williams

When you become a widow your life changes and there is no guarantee of sanity in the transition. Some days are topsy-turvy; other days have a numbing calm. You wonder if life will ever be joyful again. You’re not crazy, you’re grieving.

Joy has a way of creeping up on you when you least expect it, yes, even in the midst of loss. I discovered it’s a waste of energy to feel guilt over a moment of joy while in the pain of loss. I used to tell myself I had to stop being so serious and cut myself some slack. I refused to be a victim in life and I vowed not to become bitter over my husband’s loss. Read the rest of this entry »

Days of Tina

One day ago
Tears ran down my face
In remembrance of you

Two days ago I lit
A candle for you
In remembrance of you Read the rest of this entry »

Hi Dr. Gloria,

I have been listening to your show for a while. I download to Ipod and listen in the car. Eight years ago my 3 year old son was killed when a truck backed over him while he was walking with his sister and childcare provider to the store. As you know the pain was intense. As the usual people surrounded me, and my husband stayed strong and went back to work a week later. I went through two years of intense counseling and my two surviving children did as well. My husband did
not. We were not able to collect from the drivers insurance company so our lawyer used a loop hole in the state and we ended up collecting a insurance settlement from my husbands companies underinsured motorist policy. I know that lawyers are there not to really support you but get for you what they can, and what I think we really wanted was for the driver to held accountable. However, this was very early on in the process and we basically were on autopilot and did what we were told. Read the rest of this entry »

I need help. recently, my son was murder and it is tearing me apart from my heart to my head. I do not know how to deal with it.  please respond to me. Drs. Gloria and Heidi Respond
Dear Bernice,

We are so very sorry for your loss. The hardest thing a parent can face is the loss of a child and murder makes it even more difficult to handle. We are glad to see you are reaching out for help. Know that it is alright to feel what you feel - there is no right or wrong way to grieve and there is no time limit. In somes ways we never get over it and life is never the same, but it does begin to hurt less and allow for some degree of healing and a return to a more normal life. Right now your wounds are very fresh and very raw and it is not unusual that you feel “torn apart.” This is a time to be gentle with yourself -  to take time for rest,  to grieve in the way you need to at the moment and to involve yourself in those activities that bring you comfort. Drop your expectations of how grief is supposed to be and walk the path one day - or even one moment - at a time. Read the rest of this entry »