Grief | Grieving | Death of a Child

Coralease Ruff is a registered nurse and a nursing professor.  She began working in the field of bereavement ten years ago following the untimely death of her beloved 21-year-old daughter, Kandy, in a car accident in the Dominican Republic where she was serving as a missionary.  Dr. Ruff is a National Board member of The Compassionate Friends and is a frequent presenter on grief.  She has presented at the Compassionate Friends National Conferences and at the National Funeral Directors and Morticians Association.  She teaches a nursing course on grief and loss for nursing students at Howard University. 

Coralease Ruff:  What I always say to people about those feelings of regret, sometimes if you write a letter to them expressing those feelings of regret, at least sometimes that can help, because they do wish they had gone to the scene of the accident or gone to view the remains.  Because just the loss itself, the death itself is stressful and then, of course, having those other regrets and feelings of guilt increases the stress.  Read the rest of this entry »

July 27th, 2006 . by The Grief Blog
HEALING THE GRIEVING HEART
Grief and Your Health: Taking Care of Yourself
Host: Dr. Gloria Horsley
With guest: Coralease C. Ruff, RN, Ph.D.
July 27, 2006

G: Hello. I?m Dr. Gloria Horsley with my co-host Dr. Heidi Horsley. Each week, we welcome you to Healing the Grieving Heart, a show of hope and renewal for those who have suffered the loss of a child or a sibling or a grandchild and always our message is we?ve made it, you can make it, others have been there before you, and you do not walk alone. If you?re listening to our Thursday live internet show, please join Heidi and me on the show by calling our toll free number, 1-866-472-5792, with questions or comments regarding the losses in your life. These shows are archived on our website, www.healingthegrievingheart.org, and www.thecompassionatefriends.org website. They can also be downloaded on Itunes, and we are on selected radio stations. Heidi, would you like to give them the names of those areas we?re in and they can go on our website to find out the call letters? Read the rest of this entry »

HEALING THE GRIEVING HEART
Death of a Child on Active Duty in Iraq
Host: Dr. Gloria Horsley
With guest: Delain Johnson
July 20, 2006

G: Hello. I?m Dr. Gloria Horsley with my co-host Dr. Heidi Horsley. Each week, we welcome you to Healing the Grieving Heart, a show of hope and renewal for those who have suffered the loss of a child or a sibling or a grandchild and as always the message is others have been there before you and made it and so can you. You do not walk alone. If you?re listening to our Thursday live internet show, please join Heidi and me on the show by calling our toll free number, 1-866-472-5792, with questions or comments regarding the losses in your life. These shows are archived on our website, www.healingthegrievingheart.org, and www.thecompassionatefriends.org. They can also be downloaded on Itunes. We are also now happy to say we are on selected radio stations. Heidi, do you want to tell our audience the stations we?re on?
H: Sure. Let?s see. We’re in Chicago. Read the rest of this entry »

HEALING THE GRIEVING HEART
Aftermath of Suicide: Then and Now
Host: Dr. Gloria Horsley
With guest: Bob Burt
July 6, 2006

G: Hello. I’m Dr. Gloria Horsley with my co-host Dr. Heidi Horsley. Each week, we welcome you to Healing the Grieving Heart, a show of hope and renewal for those who have suffered the loss of a child or a sibling, and our message as always is we have made it and so can you. Well, good morning, Heidi.
H: Good morning, mom.
G: Today I want to start with an email, letting you all know that we love getting your emails. It’s great and you can email us through our website www.healingthegrievingheart.org and we also want to remind you that these shows can be downloaded on Ipod and they’re archived on our website as well as www.thecompassionatefriends.org website and as I said, you can download them on Itunes and also we have a quote of the week on our website so we hope you’ll visit it and we also have Library of Life on there. On Library of Life, we created a site for Scott, Heidi’s brother and my son, and you can go on there and light a candle for him, and we love it when people come on and do that don’t we, Heid?
H: Yes, and I went on the site last night and noticed there were more people on the site that have lit candles for their own children as well and talked about their own kids and I love seeing that.
G: Absolutely. So please feel free to go on and light a candle for your child as well as Scott. We love to have you do that. Well, Heid, our email today is from Kim and she’s from Houston, Texas. And thanks, Kim, we love people also to give us the site where they’re from because with the internet, if you’re listening on the internet and not land radio, it goes all over the world. One thing I wanted to say, too, Heidi, is that if you are listening to our Thursday show, that it is live and you can call in and our toll-free number is 866-472-5792. So our email from Kim says:
Dear Dr. Gloria and Heidi:
I have been listening to every one of our shows ever since I discovered them after my 24-year-old son, Trevor, took his life in February of 2004. Your shows have been a lifeline to me no matter what the topic. I always come away with some new understanding of this grief journey. I was so grateful when I heard your show would continue and that Heidi was added as your co-host.
G: And I’m really happy, too, Heid.
H: I am, too.
Even though Trevor was our only child, I like to hear her perspective on profound loss as well. Very early on, I was able to get my husband to listen to some of the programs and it was helpful when we were both so shut down in our own grief. We were able to say at least, yes, that’s how I feel and not feel we were losing our minds. I remember just wanting to hear your introduction when you say you will make it, I did and so will you. I loved the last show about the sisters who lost their older brother in 9/11. When they said they could talk about their brother forever, I feel the same way about Trevor, a bright light who is loved and missed forever. Thanks for all your support. Kim.
G: And then she also asks if we could possibly have an expert on bipolar illness in regards to suicide and that her son went off his medication in grad school and fell into deep despair. And Kim, yes, we will certainly look for somebody on bipolar illness. We’re going to have a psychologist on in September and we’ll certainly have him talk about it, too. Read the rest of this entry »