June 28, 2007 Dealing With Grief and Loss – Dr. Kenneth J. Doka

HEALING THE GRIEVING HEART
Dealing with Grief and Loss
Hosts:  Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley
With guest:  Dr. Kenneth J. Doka
June 28, 2007
G: Hello.  I’m Dr. Gloria Horsley
H: and I’m Dr. Heidi Horsley.
G: Each week Heidi and I welcome you to Healing the Grieving Heart, a show of hope and conversation with those who’ve suffered the loss of a [...]

June 28, 2007: Dealing With Grief and Loss – Dr. Kenneth J. Doka

JUNE 28, 2007 – DEALING WITH GRIEF AND LOSS:  DR. KENNETH J. DOKA.  Dr. Kenneth J. Doka is a Professor of Gerontology at the Graduate School of The College of New Rochelle and Senior Consultant to the Hospice Foundation of America. Dr. Doka is a prolific author whose books include: Men Don’t Cry, Women Do: [...]

Why Grief Lingers On and On

Grief and grieving is inevitable because we choose to love. And it can be argued that it lingers on and on because we refuse to learn to love in separation and complete a primary task: acceptance of the loss and the many changes demanded.
However, there are a number of old beliefs that we have learned [...]

Shopping (after the death of my daughter)

“May I help you?”
The answer is always “no, thank you.”
And then I say I am fine
When in reality my words are nothing more than lies.
My heart is so weary
Of trying to pretend I am feeling cheery.
Behind those laughing eyes
Lies pain on the face in whose falsehood lies.
Broken heart and broken dreams
A false facade hides in [...]

Thinking—Going Beyond – Carol Ann Loehr

We all use our minds to try to understand why our children died. I am no different; when our son Keith died, I continued to ask that endless question—Why?
Throughout my pursuit for answers, my niece Juli and her son Cody helped me realize that maybe I was not looking at all possibilities—just maybe I would [...]

Reflections of a Bereaved Dad – Part 6 Conclusion by Patrick Malone CSE

So as it often does, once again, how we manage our grief becomes a matter of choice. I remember Rich Edler once said, “We cannot change what happened, but we do have a choice what we do about it. Grief is inevitable. Misery is optional.
So here are some of our choices.
We can choose whether that [...]

Reflections of a Bereaved Dad – Part 5 by Patrick Malone CSE

As many of you have been or are currently, I was consumed with the question WHY? I needed to make some sense out of these tragedies.
Why was Scott, a normal full term baby, only to experience difficulties during labor and expire after only 16 hours of life?
Why was Erin miscarried?
Why did the truck turn in [...]

Reflections of a Bereaved Dad – Part 4 By Patrick Malone CSE

I believe that early on, I reached an intellectual understanding that my wife and I were dealing with grief differently. When I was up, she was down. When I was down, she was up. When she needed company, I needed to be alone and vice-versa. I sort of knew that but it didn’t really sink [...]

Reflections of a Bereaved Dad – Part 3 By Patrick Malone CSE

I went back to work a couple of weeks after Lance’s death.
I was very fortunate to have a caring and compassionate work environment. My partners and associates covered for me while I was off. When I returned they asked me how Kathy was doing. They spoke Lance’s name. They asked how his brothers, Bryan and [...]

Reflections of a Bereaved Dad – Part 2 By Patrick Malone CSE

NOTE: This is  the second in a series of six postings.
Three or four weeks after Lance’s funeral we received an information packet from The Compassionate Friends (TCF). When I came home Kathy told me about the information and how it was a support group for bereaved parents and how she wanted to go to a [...]

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