A Widow Shares

I am a 32yr old Widow. I was almost 28 at the time of my husbands death due to a tragic car accident and just into my third month of marriage. This September would be a celebration of our 5yr wedding anniversary. Although, it is only July…I am having bitter-sweet memories & tear as that was the happiest day of my life. I was told by a friend last week that I basically shouldn’t be crying anymore! What??? The tears/sadness aren’t like they used to be, my pain is less often than the one year, two year, etc. I am getting out and wanting to meet men again, but I know I will always remember my husband. We were together many years before marrying and it isn’t something I can pretend didn’t happen. Right? I attended a grief group, counselors, specialists, etc. I know it’s ok to remember him and say his name. However his family doesn’t see it that way. I really don’t have much connection with our “circle of friend couples” either. I would just like to hear what someone from the outside has to say. I told my friend that I would never wish this on anyone, but you don’t know how I’m supposed to react until you’ve walked in my shoes. Believe me, I have made great progress & smile when I have a memory of him, etc. I was so lucky to have been his wife, even if it was for a little while. Thank you!

TCF National Conference Ends on High Note

Exceptional speakers and the Walk to Remember highlighted The Compassionate Friends 30th National Conference in Oklahoma City last weekend. The conference itself drew more than 1,100 bereaved parents, siblings, grandparents, and family members, as well as professionals intent on learning more about how to help bereaved family members following the death of a child.

For a comprehensive look at what made the 30th TCF National Conference special, be sure to read the Fall issue of We Need Not Walk Alone, TCF’s national magazine. The Fall issue will also include a special interview with TCF Founder Simon Stephens.

To receive the e-newsletter contact  www.thecompassionatefriends.org

Thank You for the Workshops

Dear Dr.’s Gloria and Heidi-
I really enjoyed meeting the both of you at the conference. I attended one of your workshops, Dr. Gloria and both my husband and I got alot out of it. I found the session to be very powerful and helpful on many levels in dealing with our grief.
I just wanted to thank you both for the time you give to help all of us bereaved parents.The sibling presentation at the end of the program was very moving.
Thanks again,
Kim Hodne

A Father’s Grief by David Pellegrin

 A Father’s Grief
By David Pellegrin
Honolulu, Hawaii

At my second meeting of The Compassionate Friends about three years ago, one of the mothers said how nice it was to see a man attending, since “men grieve differently from women.”

Her remark was no doubt meant to help put me at ease. I hadn’t said a thing so far, and might have been intimidating in my silence. But it caught me off guard. What I was feeling after George’s death was so absolute, so awful, how could it possibly come with any “differences”? Would one grieve differently for an infant than for an adolescent? For a son than for a daughter? Surely, grief was absolute for both mothers and fathers. Read more

July 26, 2007: The Gift of Significance - Dr. Grace Christ

HEALING THE GRIEVING HEART
The Gift of Significance
Hosts:  Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley
With guest:  Grace Christ
July 26, 2007
Gloria:  Hello.  I’m Dr. Gloria Horsley with my co-host
Heidi:  Dr. Heidi Horsley.
Gloria:  Each week Heidi and I welcome you to Healing the Grieving Heart, a show of hope and conversation with those who’ve suffered the loss of a loved one and for health care professionals who work in this most difficult field.  As always the message is others have been there before you and made it, so can you.  You do not walk alone.  If you’re listening to our Thursday live Internet show, please join Heidi and me on the show by calling our toll-free number, 1-866-472-5792 with questions or comments regarding the losses in your life.  These shows are archived on our blog, www.thegriefblog.com as well as www.thecompassionatefriends.org websites.  All shows can be downloaded on Itunes, and transcripts can be accessed on www.thegriefblog.com.  Well, good morning, Heid. Read more

July 26, 2007 - Helping Children Heal After Loss: Dr. Grace Christ+

JULY 26, 2007 - HELPING CHILDREN HEAL AFTER LOSS:  DR. GRACE CHRIST.  Dr. Grace Christ is an Associate Professor at the Columbia University School of Social Work.  She has gained international recognition for her work in the bereavement field.  Dr. Christ has written numerous publications, including Healing Children’s Grief: Surviving a Parent’s Death From Cancer, and FDNY Crises Counseling Innovative Responses to 9/11 Firefighters, Families, and Communities.  She is the Director of the FDNY-CSU Columbia University Family Guidance Program, a research study which examines the impact of loss over time on families who experienced the death of a firefighter in the World Trade Center.  Dr. Christ’s work has been influenced by the death of her grandmother who died at 26, leaving her mother then age five without a parent. Read more

Re: September 11 and Flight 175

Dear Dawn:
I am so sorry to hear about the loss of your brother, nephew, and friend on flight 175.  That is a lot of loss to go through at once.  I also had a brother that died, and know what a horrific loss a sibling death is, not to mention the death of your nephew and friend as well.  As my Mom mentioned, I work with Firefighters that lost a family member in the World Trade Center.  Many have found counseling to be very helpful, especially those that have suffered multiple losses.  I don’t know about your particular situation, but I do know that after a death it is often difficult to concentrate because of intrusive thoughts about the traumatic event.  I know many have found support groups and counseling to be helpful.  As far as websites that are specific to 9/ll families, I am not aware of any.  However, a lot has been written about 9/11 deaths on the internet and I know several individuals that found journaling on Legacy.com to be helpful.  All the best to you.  Take Care
~Dr. Heidi

July 5, 2007: Sibling Bereavement in Childhood - Betty Davies

HEALING THE GRIEVING HEART
Sibling Bereavement in Childhood
Hosts:  Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley
With guest:  Betty Davies
July 5, 2007
G: Hello.  I’m Dr. Gloria Horsley with my co-host
H: Dr. Heidi Horsley.
G: Each week Heidi and I welcome you to Healing the Grieving Heart, a show of hope and conversation with those who’ve suffered the loss of a loved one and for health care professionals who work in this most difficult field.  And as always the message is others have been there before you and made it.  You can too.  You do not walk alone.  If you’re listening to our Thursday live Internet show, please join Heidi and me on the show by calling our toll free number, 1-866-472-5792, with questions or comments regarding the losses in your life.  These shows are archived on our blog, www.thegriefblog.com as well as www.thecompassionatefriends.org websites.  All shows can be downloaded on Itunes and the transcripts can be accessed on www.thegriefblog.com.  Good morning, Heidi. Read more

July 5, 2007: Sibling Bereavement in Childhood - Dr. Betty Davies

JULY 5, 2007 - SIBLING BEREAVEMENT IN CHILDHOOD:  DR. BETTY DAVIES.  Dr. Betty Davies is Professor at the University of California San Francisco.  Dr. Davies has gained international recognition for her work in the grief and loss field through numerous publications, including two books Fading Away: The Experience of Transition in Families with Terminal Illness and Shadows in the Sun: Experiences of Sibling Bereavement in Childhood.  She also was one of the founders of North America’s first children’s hospice in Vancouver Canada.  Dr. Davies is on the Advisory Board of SuperSibs! a non-profit organization for siblings of children with cancer.  She is one of the world’s leading experts on bereavement and has won numerous honors and awards for her groundbreaking work. Read more

The Compassionate Friends National Conference

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