Death From Cancer: A Poem About My Father
My father died from lung cancer on January third, 2005. After entering a nursing facility for rehab, we soon discovered that he had stage four small-cell lung cancer. He lived for three and one-half weeks after his diagnosis.
While January third never had any signficance before, it now holds signficance for me that I would never have imagined.
The words to the poem describe how one often feels about the anniversary of a person’s death.
Before this year, for as long as I recall,
January was a good month for me.
Though winter brought snow, and a deep-seated chill,
it was the beginning of the end you see.
For January meant winter, and winter means spring,
and spring is the beginning of life,
The death of the fall season, with its debris and decay,
marks the termination of struggle and strife.
January one was the day of beginnings,
hope filled the air all around,
Even as winter grew deeper, and the days grew shorter,
the promise of newness did abound.
January second denoted new years was past,
it was time to look up and move ahead.
But the end of new years now fills me with darkness,
thoughts of tomorrow now fill me with dread.
January third was once like any other,
until the third of this year that is now past.
For it was on that dark Monday that you up and left us,
a reminder that few things will last.
Before this year, for as long as I recall,
January was a good month for me.
Now the winter brings snow, and a deep-seated chill,
it is the beginning of the end you see.
For January means winter, and winter means spring,
but spring now seems so far away.
But every January third brings back memories of you,
and the pain we all shared on that day.
Roland Cavanaugh is on staff at a large church serving as the Pastor of Congregational Care and Sr. Adults. He has self-published a book about his late father, “For As Long As I Can.” You can find ordering information at http://www.amazon.com/gp/pdp/profile/A4QR97K7TE63B/ref=cm_blog_dp_pdp/104-6890346-0876758
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I was reading your letter my husband was diagnosed with non small cell lung cancer and died in 3 1/2 weeks also. I until now have never heard of it going that fast. We had been married for 28 yrs. We have 3 children 2 grand children. I’m still trying to figure out how to start my grief process. He did come home from hospital on a Thursday afternoon then he died at midnight the Friday. Therefore I have made the descisoin to move out of my house for me it is just to much.
Suddenly, a date, a month, no longer seem the same. Forever, every year thereafter, they are associated with certain events.. events which forever form part of one’s conscious and subconscious mind.
Your poem speaks so much. My father was diasgnosed with lung cancer 4 years ago. On August 22, 2008 he was told it was stage 4, my Dad passed away 8 days later on Septrember 1 2008.
Blessings