My Story of the Journey Through the Grief Process – Article III
Grief has been described in many ways. I suppose each of us must introduce the heartbreak and fear-yes fear, to our minds in such a way that we can accept it. If we do not allow the emotional pain that is necessary to finish the grief work, we will not find healing. Allowing this gut-wrenching pain is very difficult because it is human nature to avoid pain. Not only is the grieving hurting because someone they love is gone, but often so is the security-too frequently it is the bread winner leaving a grieving wife with not enough financial support to continue the lifestyle they enjoyed.
When the heart stopped, the brain wave activity ceased, the buzzer sounded. The medical staff came into our little room, and the doctor explained to me what I had just witnessed, I became totally numb! Sounds were suddenly muffled, or inaudible. The shock stage had arrived. Even today, when I allow my mind to travel the backroads, I can still hear the muffled sounds, the quiet footsteps, feel the kind hand on my shoulder, and the gentle push to move me out the door, forcing me to leave the most important person in the world behind.
Those of us who have been there, recognize the shock stage as a time when emotions are under control, and the mind operates almost normally. We are able to take care of the details, just as I did then. This stage may last a really long time, or it may not.
Although I functioned rather well, such as being able to make phone calls, funeral arrangements, greet friends and neighbors, there were other actions and reactions that indicated all was not well. For instance, I became a bit absentminded, lost my appetite, was disorganized, even disoriented a little. And, I learned that when the shock stage lifted, it never came back, even though there were times when it would have been welcome, so very welcome.
I am a retired grandmother of four. I live in the rural South. I love to travel, read, and sprinkle stardust in the lives of my grandchildren.
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