My Story of the Journey Through the Grief Process – Article IV
The grieving individual deals with a variety of emotions, some that seem to be unfamiliar. They flood in like waves on the shore. One moment we feel like all is well, and in the very next breath we are a basket case. We deal with envy, fear, bitterness, resentment, guilt, helplessness, loneliness, and more.
Just when I thought I was too overwhelmed to handle anything more, I realized I was angry. And I was very angry. Why, just look at all the things I lost when my husband died. Surely I had a right to be angry! That is what I thought back then. It is human nature to want to place the blame for our situation on someone or something. It is not uncommon for this anger to be directed at the medical staff, the loved one who died, or even at God. Usually, the medical staff recognizes this behavior for what it is, and they allow us to abuse them for a short while. The medical staff that dealt with me was so very gentle; they simply let me vent and rant
The anger stage does not last very long, usually. Somehow we find a way to deal with the anger in a rational way. But anger is a stage that may return again and again. Anger was the stage that I had to deal with repeatedly; I think that is normal. However, if we are angry too long, we may want to find a way to put the anger to rest; we may want to seek counseling for a session or two.
Anger may be the first emotion other people recognize in the grieving person, yet the person who is grieving the loss may not realize how sharp their words are. They simply may not know what is happening to them is another normal stage of the process. Our anger may even push our friends away because they do not know how to allow us to get through this stage and they desert us. Befriending the grieving person takes patience and willingness to ignore outbursts of anger or some other emotion.
I am a retired grandmother of four. I live in the rural South. I love to travel, read, and sprinkle stardust in the lives of my grandchildren.
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I jUST FOUND YOUR SITE IT IS CLOSE TO MIDNIGHT,ALL I HAVE DONE FOR 2 WEEKS IS CRY DAY AND NIGHT. I LOST MY HUSBAND,SOULMATE AND FRIEND ON OCT.17,2009 DAY AFTER MY BIRTHDAY AND TWO DAYS BEFORE
OUR ANIVERSARY 10 BEAUTIFUL YEARS.
HE WAS SLEEPING ALOT ALL OF A SUDDEN SO I TOOK HIM TO THE DOCTOR\ON A TUESDAY,THURSDAY WE WERE TOLD HE HAD WEEK TO TWO AT THE MOST.CANCER FROM BRAIN TO STOMACH,LIVER,LUNGS.
RICK ASK ME TO TAKE HIM HOME SO I DID HIS KIDS CAME AT ONCE,AND CALLED ALL HIS OLD FRIENDS AND EVERYDAY FROM THEN UP TO THELAST DAY HE WAS COVERED WITH PEOPLE,UNTIL HE TOLD ME TO TELL THEM GO HOME HE WAS TIRED.BY THEN HE WAS SO FAR GONE WE NEVER GOT TO TALK JUST OUR SELF,I HAD SO MUCH I WANTED TO TELL HIM.BUT HE COULD NOT TALK ANY MORE HIS EYES SET, AND HE JUST MADE CRYING SOUNDS.
I LAID DOWN BESIDE HIM AND RUB HIS HEAD,AND HELD HIS HAND TOLD HIM I LOVED HIM AND HE WOULD BE IN MY HEART FOR EVER,AND TO THANK OF THE BLUE OCEANS AND BEAUTIFUL BEACHES WE HAD SEEN OVER THE YEARS.JUST KEEP THANKING OF THEM AND SEEING OCEAN AND US ON BEACH.I TALKED TO HIM ALNIGHT UNTIL I FEEL ASLEEP AROUND 3-4 IN THE
MORNING,WHEN I WOKE HE WAS GONE.MY LOVE AND MY LIFE. AND MY HEART.
I CAN NOT SEEM TO DO ANYTHING BUT THANK OF RICK EVEN AT WORK I TRY TO STAY BUSY AND AWAY FROM HOME AS MUCH AS I CAN BUT WHEN I DO COME HOME I AM ALONE MY LOVE IS GONE.IDO NOT KNOW WHAT TO DO
AND CAN NOT ASK FRIENDS TO STAY WITH ME, THEY HAVE FAMILIES AND THAT ONLY HELPS A LITTLE I STILL CRY.
I JUST WANT MY HUSBAND!