My Story of the Journey Through the Grief Process – Article V
As the grieving person works through the grief process, we wonder how long will it last. We want to awaken-who am I kidding, we would even love to sleep through the night. We would like to awaken and find we had been in a dream, a nightmare of sorts. But it will not happen.
Depression is a real stage of grief. It is a loss of our spirit. We lose the determination to make the next step. There are periods of time when we simply cannot move another muscle. Nothing in our life is “normal” and we are searching for that lifestyle, that security we have known. I called my battle with depression my “pity party” to which none of the invited guests came.
When we fail to deal with the feelings and emotions that rise and fall within us, when we are forever “stuffing it” instead of speaking our piece, we give depression a toe-hold. Depression is not a new problem, and it is not something unique. But it is real.
Depression may settle in before the grieving individual even realizes the loved one is declining. Generally speaking, I am not prone to depression. I am a pretty upbeat and positive kind of person. But during the grief process, depression seemed to envelope me in what I called waves, or even like a black and wet blanket. That is to say, depression would hang heavily on me for a period of time, and then lift, only to return again and again.
If I were honest with me, I would think this depression stage lasted years. That sounds a bit much, I am sure. Yet, as I reflect on my life during that time, I see the blankets of depression oppressing me for a long, long time. Eventually, the times not depressed grew longer and longer until I looked around me one day and realized life is good again.
I am a retired grandmother of four. I live in the rural South. I love to travel, read, and sprinkle stardust in the lives of my grandchildren.
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