I, too, experienced feelings of isolation, guilt and had difficulty sleeping
From Allen -
This is my first time on this site. Sometimes I resort to the web to find sources of information to help me cope. I’m terribly sorry to hear about your loss.
You see my closest brother was killed in an auto accident when he was 20 years old and I was almost 16. He died from an auto accident on November 22, 1992 and every year I battle the same feelings of guilt around this time. Needless to say, I was devastated as he was my closest buddy as we shared everything from clothing to a bed growing up.
I, too, experienced feelings of isolation, guilt and had difficulty sleeping. I had a recurring dream that it was a big practical joke and he would thrust my bedroom door open and I’d jump out of bed and give him a great big hug. Crying myself to sleep was fairly routine. My grades dropped and I discovered alcohol. Eventually the dreams stopped but I still struggled with feelings of guilt as I approached the age that he was when he died.
Today I’m 32 years-old and the feelings of isolation, guilt, anger, and jealousy are always lurking. I’ve come to accept that I will continue to battle these intense feelings around the anny date for the rest of my life. I’m too proud and stubborn to seek professional help, and have made a carreer out of helping others, which has helped me to some degree.
Again, I’m very sorry to hear about your situation. Remember you are worthy of living and your brother would not want you to be down on yourself!! You are still here for a reason; do your best everyday.
If you need someone for advice just shoot me an email.
I lost my only child,a son, on October 27th. He was my best friend at 31 years of age. He had terrible migraines the last two years from a car wreck but could not find a compassionate doctor to help him. We spoke a few times every day and texted in the evening before bed. His girlfriend broke up with him and his friends left him alone to suffer the last two years. I was his tether and support. One morning I went out to do errands for him and he died while I was out. My husband, his stepfather never liked my son and feels nothing about his death (except possibly joy to see him gone. ) I cry every day. I have no brothers, sisters, parents, aunts or uncles….all are gone. Now my son is gone as well. I really do not want to be here without him. I am in shock and desparately sad. If I hear one more person tell me about how many stages of grief there are I will scream or hit something. This is not stages this is a horrifying rollercoaster ride where sometimes I am numb and other times I cannot do anything but feel depressed and alone. Pray for me.
I lost my son one year ago, November 21. I keep thinking I’m getting better, moving on but than I digress. I can’t really talk to anyone about him, it’s as though because they’ve moved on I should be “over it.” My sister changes the subject if I mention his name and in fact stopped calling or talking to me for the past nine months only recently talking to me because I wasn’t getting over his death quick enough. It’s as though he no longer matters to anyone but me. I miss him. I don’t dream about him at least not that I recall. I’m sad, I wish I could go back in time to change the outcome.