It is good to feel whatever you are feeling
From Big D -
Scott,
I also lost my twenty-six year old son, Nickolas, after a fiftteen month battle with leukemia. I too watched my son try to heal and suffer through many complications and hospitalizations. Unfortunately, Nick was in the hospital for the last two months of his life and our family had to make a decision to take him off life support as well. My grief overwhelms me every day. I still cry every day. Your son sounds like a wonderful young man and I wish I could follow his advice! My son would want me to do the same, but, it is so hard. That anchor gets very heavy and no one sees that anchor which makes it even harder to find people who understand the how much this loss hurts. I have so been trying to find people who have had similar experiences. We have in common the fight against cancer and all that comes along with that long and difficult journey. To have it end this way…well, it is just unbearable. I kept a blog to update people on my son’s condition and how things were going, now it is a grief blog. I agree with your advice. It is good to feel whatever you are feeling. I have found much solace in reading, music, sites like the Open To Hope Foundation, and The Compassionate Friends. I feel that there is a hole in my heart that will never be fully healed. Thank you Scott for sharing your thoughts and feelings. I wish there was a way we could all get together and share our stories.
