People ask me how I am and I say Fine and I want to say “I am so sad I think I will die”
From Dorothy –
My 26 year old daughter died of a stroke 5 months ago…sometimes it seems like it was only 5 days. I certainly understand how you feel…sleeping is hard for me too even with help from the doctor. I have been reading and seeing a psychologist and we did go to The Compassionate Friends. They really are great but nothing can help those night times and the constant sadness. It is all-consuming, isn’t it? Christmas is so close – and my daughter’s birthday is December 23rd. I certainly am not looking forward to next week at all.
Sad, sad, sad…people ask me how I am and I say Fine and I want to say “I am so sad I think I will die” but that isn’t what they want. It is a sadness that runs so deep and no one can understand unless they have truly been there. I am 52 and I cannot believe that I could live 20 or 30 or 40 more years without her….
I have been thinking lately that Alzheimer’s doesn’t sound so scary anymore….maybe my brain will take me back in time and we can be reunited during my lifetime!
Dear Dorothy,
My youngest son Brett, age 27, died 9 months ago and the Holidays have been pure torture beyond the normal torture we all endure after we lose a child. I have felt and continue to feel exactly as you describe. We are not fine, it is always the same lie. It is so much work to make everyone else feel OK about your loss. Just know you are not alone in this nightmare, the members of this dreaded club know how you feel. May God help us all.
How can people live through this? It is a neverending nightmare.