You will have good days ahead
From Lynn – 
I happened upon this website by accident. My husband died 4 years ago. Crazy, but today has been a day where I have really missed him. I have cried like he died last week! It has been good to read everyone’s comments and I do want you to know that you will have good days ahead. Of course, you will have some bad days too as this is a sad day for me. I still do not date and still do not have the desire to meet someone new. I am busy raising our 3 children. Having the kids is good. THey keep me so busy, and sometimes I think that is why it has taken me so long to grieve. I, too, do not know what I would have done without my parents. God gave me the right set of parents. I do get a smile watching the kids and seeing some of my husband’s attributes in each of their lives. I have rambled, but it feels good to get my feelings out.
oh,dear “not the same person i was”, i feel your pain, and when i say that i mean it ….i lost my 23 year old son, my firstborn, on Jan 17th 2010. It was the worst day of my life. Josh was healthy, viital, and strong-willed and the absolute love of my life. In Oct 2009, he was diagnosed with adenocarcinoma, a very aggressive cancer of the stomach, usually diagnosed in people average age of 70 yrs, i still cant believe im writing this and i am shaking as im typing, and the tears don’t stop. I only got 3 months!!! I still dont know what happened, he was preparing for another intense round of chemo, our only option hopefully to proceed with surgery, he had seizures, ended up on life-support and cardiac arrest literally overnight. I left hospital Thurs night and by fri early morning everything had turned upside down. My mind is still spinning. I knew he was so strong, he would beat it. the doctor’s were even optomistic, what the heck hapened? i am barely breathing, heart barely beating, i feel like a shell i feel the loss so deeply that i don’t see the future without him in my world, i try to have faith and get through each day, i hav e other children. My view of this world has changed, i will never be the same the world will never be the same. It should have been me! its not supposed to happen this way, it’s impossible to understand. I am a nurse and thanked god every day for my healthy children and i feel so “cheated” . I can’t see through the tears anymore. I had to wittness my beautiful baby boy suffer and slip away from me. I, too have rambled, but just to let you all know, you are not alone.