How do I help my neighbor whose son was killed in an auto accident?
From Michelle –
I want to say to all of you how sorry and sad I am that you are all suffering from the loss of your children. I do not think there are any reasons to the ‘Why’ question or that you will or should get over it.
My story is not the same. My daughter was 17 when she was diagnosed with a large brain tumor. She had multiple surgeries and was in the hospital for 3 months followed by 6 weeks of daily radiation. For a long period of time while she was in the hospital she was near death. We fought back the tears to be strong for her and it wasn’t until she was home and 9 months later that I fell apart over the whole ordeal. My nerves have been raw ever since. That was 3 years ago and she had to go back for another surgery this last June because the tumor was growing. She is home and trying to live as normal a life as possible.
During this time our 20 year old neighbor killed in an auto accident. I grieve for the parents. Then 2 weeks ago my sons very dearest friend was killed in a motorcycle accident. Today was his memorial. I haven’t been able to cope very well with the loss of these young men. I am heart broken and they are not even my children. I don’t know how you all live with this pain. I need your advise as to how to best help the mother of my son’s friend. I don’t know her but I know her pain, like that which you all feel, is overwhelming. She lost her husband 9 years ago to cancer and she has two other adult sons that are very close to her. But as you all know, the rest of the world goes on and I’m sure she is wanting to just stop living herself. How can I be of any help or comfort?? I don’t know her?? I think I’m feeling the pain because of how close we came to losing our daughter. The other thing is, that when I was at the hospital holding on to my daughters hand and reminding her to breath and stay with us, I was so thankful that no one was there with us. I just wanted to be alone with my thoughts and deal with my feelings alone. Because I felt this way, I wonder if others might feel the same and not want people constantly asking how they are doing. Any suggestions how to handle this situation?
Thank you and may God bless you all with beautiful memories of your sweet children.
Michelle
