How do we get through the holidays after the loss of a spouse
From Brenda -
How do we get through the holidays after the loss of a spouse. I can go in a restaurant.
Editor’s note: Brenda, watch for articles about the holidays here and on http://www.opentohope.com. Drs. Gloria and Heidi will also address this on their radio show. The Grief Blog is getting a makover which will be finished soon. It will have a “search” option so you can also find the articles posted in the past. The best thing to do is plan ahead and do those things you know you can handle. Find someone in your family or a friend who can be supportive. “The only way out is through” is true when it comes to the holidays. You will get through it, it just seems impossible right now. Sometimes it’s one minute at a time rather than one day at a time. Hang in there.
Brenda:
I’ve been pondering how I will get through the holidays without my son James, who passed on in July. So, I sat down and wrote a poem. Writing poems helps me to express what I am feeling and more so, it helps bring me to a conclusion of sorts. Maybe you might write a poem about your spouse. And don’t worry about rhyming, just write what you are feeling, what you might fear and maybe when you finish, you will find an answer or two. It can take days for me to complete a poem, sometimes the words flow and sometimes they just won’t come. So, don’t worry if you have to walk away and go back later.
GIVING THANKS
In loving memory of my dear son, James
My memories are flowing,
Of Holidays past,
If only I’d known,
That they’d be his last
Right now I see nothing,
I can be thankful for,
My Son is gone,
My heart on the floor
Must I celebrate?
And pretend to have joy?
I just cannot do it,
Without my baby boy
His face now appears,
In the front of my mind,
That smile, that strength,
Of an Angel so kind
He tells me “It’s ok,
No need to be sad,
I’ll be there with you,
I still love you Dad”
He tells me to remember,
The Holidays past,
Of all we had shared,
And of memories cast
He says, “Dad, go forward,
And please spread the word,
Of the joy that we shared,
Of the Angels we heard”
“Of the family and friends,
Who stood by our side,
Who were with us always,
And the day that I died”
“Dad, give them my best,
And make sure they know,
I am now at rest,
Yet continue to glow”
“Because they have kept me,
So close in their hearts,
My memory lives on,
We’re not far apart”
And so once again,
I pick up the pieces,
I wipe away tears,
And my sadness decreases.
I’ll celebrate knowing,
Though he is at rest,
My Son is still glowing,
I am truly so blessed!