I will honor his memory by doing as he would like and that is slowly at my own pace… Living.

From  Lisa –

Sue you are so right and I feel the self same pain you feel. Couple friends don’t understand and I hope and pray they never do. This is a loneliness stays with us 24 hours a day every single day. I’m only 41 and when men look at me to approach me it just upsets me that my husband isn’t here to step up to my side. It hurts to hear married friends talk about planning their next vacation together. Just because I don’t cry every time I’m in their presence doesn’t mean I don’t carry the hurt, pain, loneliness, helplessness and tears deep down in my heart. Those emotions are with me constantly. They never take a vacation only behave when people are around. Its only been 3 and half months since my Ronnie passed but it feels like yesterday. They say time heals all wounds, but I have to ask is there enough time left to heal this hurt or is this how i will feel when I take my last breath. I pray somehow, someway, someday I will feel better (never as I did) but perhaps better. This I pray for constantly. Ladies I know for some of us this is the hardest battle yet but let’s just be here for one another and tell each other we can make it (even though sometimes we may not want to) we can and will. One reason because if we didn’t have the strength to deal with this then we wouldn’t be going thru it. We got this trial so we can bare this trial. As bad as it hurts we will go on, as hard as it is to get out of bed some mornings, don’t we still get out of bed “yes” then let’s use the strength the Creator gave us to live on, move on (slowly, at our own individual pace). My Ronnie would not want to see me in despair everyday so I will do my level best to make him proud of me. I love him and miss him, so I will honor his memory by doing as he would like and that is slowly at my own pace… Living.