My brother died of a heroin overdose
From Jane –
My brother died three years ago. He died of a heroin overdose. The hardest part for me was the time that would pass makeing it further from the last time i saw his face. I cried every day for my brother. Then i moved and things got a little bit better I did not stop thinking of him everyday but i could function. Well i am starting to break down and cry again when i am alone. I feel so sad. I miss him so much. I hope he new how much i love him. I have a hard time dealing with the pain he went through when he was alive.
Please know that I hold you in my heart as you go through this profound loss of your brother. I lost my son Ben to his disease 4 months ago in June, 2009. His drug was also heroin. The loss of my son – and the pain of my loss – are incalculable. Last September I lost my younger brother, Frank, to Pulmonary Fibrosous; his death was also sudden – his disease was misdiagnosed and the treatment he was receiving hastened his death. These 2 deaths in under a year have affected me very deeply.
What was your brother’s first name? Maybe it would help to share it – saying his name may allow you to feel the real connection and loss you share with your beloved brother. It sounds as if your move gave you some kind of comfort to begin with and now, as time goes by, it’s not enough to keep your deep sadness at bay. It’s so hard to go through passages and seasons – to be reminded of our loved ones who have died – not to be able to share life with them – it’s all sad. And yet we need to make meaning, I think, in order to honor their lives and our own lives.
When we lose someone we love to addiction – be it to alcohol, cigarettes – (although addiction to tobacco and its resulting cancers carries little to no stigma, which makes a difference both for smokers seeking help and survivors as well) or any other drug chances are other family members have the same disease &/or have suffered the effects of living with active addiction in loved ones. Having a family suffering from addiction makes the grieving process not only hard, but next to impossible. In my own experience, attending Al-anon (or open AA) meetings has been very helpful towards understanding the disease and it’s effects on my son – and importantly – on myself. My son was in recovery but lost his commitment to the daily process absolutely necessary to maintain recovery and tragically, he died. He helped many other people find and keep their recovery … and maybe I can do the same. In this way, I honor my son’s life and maintain my own spiritual connection to my son and to God.
I hope you find some help in what I share with you.
My brother died four months ago-July 2009, of a heroin overdose. He had been clean for a few months, but had an 8 year addiction. He tried so hard to beat it-going to meetings nightly and reading the AA books. His last journal entry was of asking God for help to not use. He died the day after he wrote that entry. Aaron had been living with me and my family for a few months and had just gotten a apartment. He only lasted one week in the apartment. He overdosed the first time he used again. I miss him terribly and it has been the most painful thing I have ever experienced. I am not ashamed of his drug addiction and didn’t try to cover up what his cause of death was. I think that the only good that can come out of this is to let others know that heroin addiction can happen to anyone-even the most supportive families.
At 8pm December 30, 2009..I got the worst phone call of my life. My son five year old son, Ethan, father died. I was told he had fallen off of a roof, but when i got to the hospital it was a whole different story. Apparently, he had went to a friends house and mixed cocaine and heroin together, and overdosed. I’ve known Jon for six years and dated him for two years. I always knew he had an addiction to drugs, which ultimately ended our relationship. Jon thought he had everything under control. In his mind he fooled everyone. Towards the end of his death, he became so good at leading a double life. He recently got married to a good girl, welcomed a new daughter, was in the military…everything was looking good for him. What I am trying to get at, is that Jon died a senseless way..all deaths are horrible..but his was self -inflicted. At the age of 24 you should be enjoying your life..not lying 6 feet under the ground. If there is anyone out there that knows of someone or just has a feeling about a love one or friend involved heavily into drugs…GET THEM HELP!!!!