She is at peace but I am not
From Chrissy -
I lost my mother 3 weeks ago,she was 65 years old. She was suffering from a number of illnesses for over 20years. Skin cancer a number of times.Lupus,Congestive heart failure,mini strokes,emphysema,MDS (pre-leukemia) and diabetes in the end. Her rapid demise started when she needed emergency gall bladder surgery. She never recovered,they let her go from the hospital when she hadnt eaten anything for a week in the hospital and that continued when she was at home for 3 weeks and during that time she needed to start chemo again for her bone marrow disease. That put her over ,so we called an ambulance 3 weeks after her surgery. She spent 10 days in the hospital. Coherent and witty. Then she jsut couldnt breathe,her MDS was killing her,her emphsyema developed into pneumonia and that was it for her. She was on a bipap machine,breathing machine before ventilation. She would never recover from ventialtion. Per my moms request none of that and DNR. I feel like we let her live one too many days when she could barely open her eyes and she struggled horribly to breathe but I new she could hear us. She would move her head. She waited to pass until we had to leave to go home to my babies. Her sister and favorite nephew were there. She never wanted to be alone in the end but never wanted us to witness her last breathe. It was the most horrible thing to experience but she is at peace but I am not.
