This pain never seems to get better or lessen with time
From Jean –
Laurel
I am so sorry for your loss. I cannot even imagine having to go through what you did.
I should have been with my husband that day, but I had woke up with a migraine.
My husband went to get hay without me. I know that whether I was there it would not have changed the outcome, but I still carry the guilt. My husband did not have to handle any of the hay, our hay guy could load hay without handling any bales.
Our hay guy attempted CPR on my husband. My husband died of a massive aneurysm, he never knew what happened.
I cry everyday, and miss him terribly. Like you I have no idea how I will go on without my husband and best friend to brighten my day.
This pain never seems to get better or lessen with time. My heart aches and my throat tightens to keep back the tears.
Here’s a virtual hug and my thoughts and prayers for anyone having to live this nightmare. Keep your friends and family close. They want to help and let them.
I even had friends cleaning my home, helping me with Thank-you cards, going to movies, dinner, lunch or out for a drive. All these are short but needed distractions to help us struggle through this trying time in our lives.
Even while writing this I find myself unable to stop the tears.
I hope to hear how you are doing
jean
thank you so much for reaching out to me and i feel your pain too.i too have people in my life who have helped me so much and continue to do so with chores,shopping,cards,checking to see if i am ok and i am so grateful for them but sometimes it is good to talk to someone sharing the journey even though you never would wish this for someone. sometimes i think i am glad in a way that menno went first because i would never want him to go through what i am.
i know he would not want to see me in despair and he would tell me it is okay to be okay.i try to honor his life and death by taking care of myself but i have a hard time eating and have lost lots of weight and do not sleep well, i know this worries my family and friends so i keep trying.
you have to reidentify yourself and your life and that too is hard. the whole journey is exhausting and painful on every level but we do find the strenght to go on with friends old and new.
i hold you in my heart
laurel