Your story stole my heart
From Scott – My Dearest Mona:
I was so very taken by your tag line and your story about your son Kyle. I have a story on this site as well, it is titled: “Help me, my son died”. Your story stole my heart, as Kyle was just “stolen” from your life. You had no warning, no notice, nothing that might even give you an inkling that you might lose your baby. I am so very sorry.
My son fought a very difficult battle against leukemia for 26 months before he died in my arms on May 31, 2009. I am lucky in that he lived long enough to teach me so many things I should have already have learned.
The bond my son and I had was always very strong, but grew way stronger upon his diagnosis. We were father/son, best friends, companions, buddies, etc. I miss him every moment of every day.
Your intro line, “I will never be the same again….” really caught my eye.
It has been seven weeks now and I have this same thought with me since James passed…I will never be the same again…however the thought has taken a positive spin for me.
No, I WILL never be the same again…I WILL live and love stronger, I WILL work harder on all of my relationships, I WILL live each day with as much strength and energy as God allows me that particular day, I WILL guarantee that those in my life know how much I love them and how much they mean to me.
I WILL take all of the experiences I have had with my son over the past 22 years and use them to be a better person. I WILL help others to cope with their grief as so very many others, including Dr. Gloria and Dr. Heidi, are working to help me.
No, I WILL never be the same again…and I thank my son and everything he taught me about strength, courage, determination and love. I WILL never be the same again and I accept, embrace and will remain forever thankful for this new opportunity to be the best I can be!
Thank you for sharing your story Mona. My heart goes out to you and your family and I will pray for you as I now pray for so many others in our situation. Your story has inspired me and I am going to get busy writing a poem for this website and it will be titled, “I WILL never be the same again….”
I would like to dedicate this poem to you, Kyle, my son James and all of the other children who have left their parents grieving – knowing that none of us parents WILL ever be the same again…we WILL be better!
All of my love,
Scott T.
Scott,
I read your comment and just wanted to say that it hit home with me. I lost my husband 6 years ago. He was diagnosed with leukemia in 2000. He passed in February of 2003.
Then on January 17th, 2009 at 3:00 A.M. there was a knock on my front door and a policeman standing on my front porch. I was told my son had been in an accident and I needed to get to the hospital. I was alone so I drove myself. When I got there, I was told my older son Mike was injured, but my younger son Brian, who was in the passenger side of the car “didn’t make it”… It replays over and over in my mind and it still is hard to believe that I won’t ever see him or hold him again (in this lifetime). This site has really helped me tremendously. We WILL get through this Scott….Keep the Faith
You are in my prayers. God Bless. Judy
judyseyler@hotmail.com
Dear Scott,
Thankyou so much for a beautiful poem for Kyle and James and all other grieving parents out there… I was in tears as I read your letter and poem this morning. It is so thoughtful of you to think about writing a poem at a time when you too are going through your own grieve and pain of losing your son.
I feel extremely honoured and blessed and Im sure so does my angel son Kyle.
I read your story about losing your son “James” and immediately I realised the deep love you had for your son. And I want you to know that you are not the only one who is blessed to have had James in your life,but so was James to have a loving and caring father like you in his life. I must say that I really appreciate your attitude in all of this. Losing a child is not easy,but Im taken by how you are striving to become a better person because of your experience. I too have been praying to God to guide me and show me what it is that I need to change in my life because of my experience,as painful as it may be I do believe that my loss is going to give birth to something beautiful.
I cant image the tons of memories you must have of your son,Kyle was only 5 years old and boy do I have memories of him. So with James being 22 you must have millions more then me. Kyle was extremely matured for his age and he was a very kind and soft hearted little boy with so much of love to give. He just wanted to be happy and be at peace.So his dad and I made him a promise to keep his legacy of peace,love and happiness alive and spread it as far and wide as we can. A neighbour of mine also told me something that was and still is very precious to me. She told me that at night when Im asleep Kyle is brought to my bed to sleep next to me every night. I may not see him or feel him but he is there.
I tell you this brought me so much of peace and it made me look forward to bedtime every night. I also light a candle for him at home every night when I get back from work. I sure hope that somehow you can find some kind of solace in what Im sharing with you.
You are right,James will always be your angel – and always remember that nothing will ever seperate you from the love you both shared for and with eachother. I’ve never met James but it sure sounds like was a good child,who had a good and big heart. I will keep you and your family in my prayers and ask God for his devine peace and strenght in your lives. And also for the acceptance that your son is safe with Him,it’s not easy to release your child to God. There are days when Im fine with it – then there are days when I just want my son back ,Im sure you can relate.
You are right we WILL never be the same again but we WILL be better.
Take care,much love,respect and peace.
Mona