I WILL NEVER BE THE SAME AGAIN
To Mona from Scott
In the most loving memory of Kyle Sibusiso Marsh and James Scott Tallman
Dedicated to all parents grieving the loss of a child
My child was called to Heaven today
I feel as if I have lost my way
The loss taken hard by both family and friend
I know I will never be the same again…
My baby was taken with no reason nor rhyme
There must be someone to blame for this crime
My heart and soul broken this must be my end
I know I will never be the same again…
What did I do wrong God what did I miss
Can my baby still feel my very last kiss
So what am I left with how can my heart mend
I know I will never be the same again…
My mind travels back to the times we have had
So many memories now none of them bad
I thought I had covered it all but then
I know I will never be the same again…
I fall asleep crying tears pouring from eyes
That once watched over my joy and my pride
How can I go on this pain will not end
I know I will never be the same again…
A bright light then flashes I’m leaving my mind
A vision of my baby so peaceful and kind
He tells me he loves me and begs that I heal
I remember his love, his zest and his zeal…
I reach out to touch him if just one more time
Reality hits and I’m torn back to mind
The message was clear my baby has spoken
I shall not continue with my heart and soul broken…
So I look to toward Heaven and I shout very loud
My darling, my baby, I will always be proud!
I now understand and I promise right then
No, I WILL never be the same again
I WILL accept and embrace this new chance to grow
From the knowledge I’ve gained from the seeds you have sown
I WILL work with others to help ease their pain
So that THEY will never be the same again…
I WILL work to live and love even stronger
I WILL work to heal and not just to wander
I WILL grow stronger with each passing day
I promise my baby I will make it this way…
I WILL always miss you that part I can’t stop
What you have given I will take to the top
My heart is still hurting my baby but then
I now know and accept
I WILL never be the same again…
In response to my poem, my Mother and Father wrote a poem for me. Here it is:
To Scott from Mom and Dad
We read your poem with sorrow,
As tears fell down our face,
We read your poem with sadness,
For no one can take his place.
We read your poem in silence,
Thinking of things that might have been,
If only we would have had the chance,
To do them all again.
There will be a time for your heart to mend,
We know not where, we know not when,
You will kiss your son and hold his hand,
And then you will know you are the same again.
i just read your poem. my son (he was 22) left me on oct 31 2009. i never got to say good bye to him. in my mind sometimes he is still down stairs working on his train layout. i can hear him. my sister offered to help clean out the basement i told her i cant look at his pickup but i leave his work clothes were they always hung so i smell them or touch them..
even my family says they cant fathom what i am feeling neither can i .
i have so many feelings i dont know what i feel.