A Letter to Jodie by Susan who Lost Her Husband on September 18, 2007

Dear Jodie,
I can relate to your grief. I just lost my husband on Sept 18, 2007, suddenly, to an unexpected illness-viral enciphilitis. He was also healthy prior. Now, I’m left with our very young daughters to raise. He was the world to us.He left behind a platoon of friends and family members that loved him so much. He was a caring, kind, selfless, father and husband. The shock of it all is incredible to me. One day we had a perfectly normal day, and next thing you know, he’s in a medically induced coma for next several weeks. No chance to say I love you again or even to say goodbye.
My 4 year old is just devastated and of course, troubled by his death. I am having a hard time talking about this with many people. And reading this blogsite is helping relate with other widows.
So, thank you all for listening.   Susan

Dear Susan,

We are so sorry for your loss. We welcome you to the group of wonderful people who reach out with love to others who also have experienced such great and sudden loss. Reaching out to others seems to facilitate healing and we hope that is true for you.

It is a very short time since September and this is a time for you to be gentle with yourself and allow your self to grieve in your own time and your own way.  Sometimes that’s not easy when you have small children and we hope you have some one who can be with your daughters so you can find some time to take care of you.

We understand how hard it is to talk with people who have not experienced the death of a loved one and it is so important for you to be able to talk about your feelings and you loss. For this purpose we recommend that you find a group of The Compassionate Friends in your area. You can find their site at http://www.compassionatefriends.org. If there is no chapter of Compassionate Friends in your area you may want to contact your local Hospice for a grief group recommendation.  However, we understand that groups are not for everyone.  If groups are not for you we recommend that you reach out to your family, church, and friends for support.  It’s o.k. to tell them how to help you and that sometimes they only need to listen. We have found that the load of grief is lighter when it is not carried alone

You might find it helpful to listen on Thursday mornings to the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart  You can find information about it and a link to it on the first page of http://www.thegriefblog.com  You might also find a number of past shows that can give you help and comfort at http://thegriefblog.com/grief-grieving-death-of-a-child/ 

Thank you for reaching out to Jodie. We hope that through your compassion for others your own load of grief is lightened.

Blessings,

Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley