A Remembrance of Our Daughter Who Died in Ghana, West Africa
October 23, 2007 by The Grief Blog
Filed under Birthday Remembrances, Grief and the Holidays, Q&A
Our daughter would have turned 21 10/23/86 but instead she was killed in a 19 passenger van accident ( four other people died)last November 20, 2006 in Ghana, West Africa where she was participating in her Junior year abroad (E.O.P.) through University of California at Santa Cruz.
Tuesday night, almost a full moon, and clear skies ahead, about 25 of her friends, family and community will hike up to a redwood tree we planted in her honor, on a ridge in a public hiking state park. We’re going to share food, toasts and honor our daughter who’s death has affected us all so deeply and even though almost a year has passed, our grief remains ever present. But, this is a beginning…
Drs. Gloria and Heidi Respond
Dear Kristi,
We are so very sorry about the loss of your daughter. Losing a child is the hardest thing parents have to bear and when we cannot be with them it is even more difficult.
Your plans to celebrate her life will be posted on the blog because many bereaved parents are wanting to do something in honor and remembrance of their children and just don’t know where to begin. You have found a wonderful and creative way to do it.
While it’s been a year, know that there is no time limit on grief – we each grieve in our own time and in our own way and sometimes those of us who have lost children feel like we are trying to fill an endless hole. If you have not found The Compassionate Friends we encourage you to do so. http://www.compassionatefriends.org Sometimes we just need to join with others who also walk this path in order to find support and comfort. Each member of this group has lost a child and understands your pain. We have found that the burden of grief is lighter when it is not carried alone.
We hope you will join us on Thursday mornings to listen to the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart You can find information about it and a link to it on the first page of http://www.thegriefblog.com You might also find a number of past shows that can give you help and comfort at http://thegriefblog.com/grief-grieving-death-of-a-child/ We often share letters from The Grief Blog and we believe our listeners would appreciate hearing about how you remembered your daughter on Tuesday night.
Our best wishes,
Drs. Gloria and Heidi
I will pray for you and your family on the loss of your daughter while studing in W. Africa. I too, lost my only child Katie, in her Jr. year in college in Indiana. Katie’s dream was to go to Africa, Mozembeak and Zimboway to help the children who had lost their parents to aids. Katie was 22 yrs. old and had a totally unexpected heart attack and passed March 10. 2003. I live 1000 miles away. I know what that phone call does to you. I understand what you are living and it does not go away. I think the memorial you have planned is a wonderful tribute to your daughter. She will always be with you, in your heart. Take one day at a time and remember our loved ones, would want us to live life, be happy and love one another. Please accept my deepest sympathy for the loss of your daughter. Her spirit lives forever.
God Bless you,
Nancy Kobelski