Birthday Remembrances
September 29, 2007 by The Grief Blog
Filed under Birthday Remembrances, Blog, Q&A
We are starting a new category called Birthday Remembrances. The question keeps being asked, “How can I remember/celebrate my child’s birthday after they are gone?” Let us know what you do so those who are newly bereaved have some ideas and can choose or develop a birthday remembrance that is just right for their family.
The first entry is posted below.
Drs. Gloria and Heidi
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Remembering Joshua’s 11th Birthday
We spent most of Joshua’s birthday evening at our church. One lady who lost her baby 10 years ago to sids said they let go balloons each year on her son’s birthday. They let go one balloon for each year that has passed. We thought that sounded like a good idea that the other children would enjoy. We bought the balloons and a birthday cake. We had the cake at our Wednesday night church dinner but it was too late to let go of the balloons that night so we thought we would wait until the next day.
Gasp…the balloons had lost there helium!
So our new tradition….We had the children say something they liked and remembered about Joshua and then they got to pop a balloon. Then the next one got to do the same until all the balloons were gone. They had a blast and got to think of good memories about our Joshua who would have been 11
On our daughter’s first birthday and “heaven Day” (which are only 8 days apart: Dec. 16th & Dec 24th), we decided to have a day of remembrance we called her “Life Celebration”. We chose a day in the middle and created special invitations. I made a poem up and had her picture on the invitation. Then invited everyone to bring an ornament that reminded them of Lindsay in some way. Some were very unique: a girl snowboarder (she loved snowboarding!), a black angel cat (her cat looks just like it), a glass angel holding her birthstone, photo ornaments, angels of all kinds, a cross, plus many others. Everyone really put thought & love into their choice. We had a small Christmas tree in our diningroom which was for her and continue to. Family & friends continue to give us ornaments and it helps us so much to know they remember.
I have had birthday parties for my son every year since his death. He was 10 when he died and he loved his birthday and celebrating, so I have a party for him. Somehow, I know that he knows and is happy that we still celebrate him.
I Donate a have a tree Planted on the B-day of my Dad every year. the site I use is http://www.treesinstead.com
Our son died on June 19, 2005, and since then he has had four birthdays, one being the Sunday past. His first birthday, like other parents I baked a cake for him, and the family gathered , but no one would eat his cake. I started a memory-of site for him, and each year or holiday, I make changes or add to it, and visit it often. I also became Chair of the Childrens Memorial Tree Garden and with help of the community we now have a beautiful natural hardwood hammock where the existing trees are dedicated and small gifts are placed as well as a plaque for each child. Unfortunately, there are 21 plaques at our park, It’s a wonderful place to meditate, as I have kept it clean and mulched it since it’s dedication in 2006. This past week we added some ground cover native plants to the park for him. I light a candle whenever I want, and think of him every day. The truth is that with all of these things, my one wish would be for my son to be here with us now. I hope this helps and I am so sorry for your loss.