December 27, 2007 Finding Hope in the Holidays After the Loss of Both Parents - Lisa Peacock

HEALING THE GRIEVING HEART
Finding Hope in the Holidays after the Loss of Both Parents
Hosts:  Dr. Gloria Horsley and Dr. Heidi Horsley
With guest:  Lisa Peacock
December 27, 2007
G: Hello, I’m Dr. Gloria Horsley with my co-host
H: Dr. Heidi Horsley.
G: Each week, Heidi and I welcome you to Healing the Grieving Heart, a show of hope and conversation with those who’ve suffered the loss of a loved one and for healthcare professionals who work in this most difficult field.  As always the message is others have been there before you and made it, you can, too.  You need not walk alone.  This show is pre-recorded so you will not be able to call in but these shows are all archived on our blog, wwwthegriefblog.com as well as www.thecompassionatefriends.org websites.  All the shows can be downloaded on iTunes and the transcripts are accessible on www.thegriefblog.com.  Well, good morning, Heidi.
H: Morning, Mom.
G: Gosh, it’s been quite a holiday season, hasn’t it? 
H: It has.
G: Really busy.  Lots of exciting things going on.  I know for our audience it’s been tough for a lot of them.  They’ve made it through Christmas now, maybe the first Christmas, really rough, huh, Heidi?
H: Absolutely.  Holidays can be very, very tough and very emotional.  
G: Do you remember our first year?  I hardly remember it once Scott died in 1983. 
H: Yeah, you were asking me about that earlier and it was a complete fog.  I think the whole first year after his death was just a blur and a fog and I just was in shock.  I don’t remember it.  I really don’t.  I remember very few things about it.  I remember bringing his photographs down into the living room with us while we were opening presents and that was a good reminder for me because we didn’t really have to say anything but he was a presence there with his photos.
G: I remember that first year.  It was eight months for us.  Scott died in April so I think that would be about eight months.  In our first year I was in terrible shock and Heidi and Rebecca were home from college and Heather was 14 there.  I was in the field of grief and loss, and I felt like we should have stayed home that year and done what we did.  So I hardly remember it either.  It was just getting through.  I’m sure we must have had friends come over.  I barely remember anything.
H: I don’t remember anything either.  I just remember that every time I went into the house I expected Scott to be there and it was almost like an overwhelming feeling of emotion when he wasn’t there.  Even though I knew he was dead, I still expected him to be there.
G: Yeah, well, I just want to talk to our audience.  For that first year, wow, I really give you credit for getting through and the second year is rough because this is what it’s going to be like.  I remember our second year we took a trip to Hawaii with my mother.  Do you remember that, Heidi? 
H: That was a good thing I thought because it diverted me from what was going on and we could just enjoy Hawaii, and we went to Disneyland and we just did something completely different the second year which was good.  I liked that. 
G: And Scott had never been to Hawaii there with us so we weren’t doing that yearning and searching that you do in that early time where you’re looking for them all the time.  Really difficult.  Well, Heidi, I wanted to say we know it’s difficult for you—the anticipation of the holidays.  We hope that you passed Christmas if you celebrate Christmas and now you’re on –
H: Or Hanukah.
G: Yeah, or Hanukah and now you’re on to getting ready for the New Year.  And we just hope that you don’t feel too much pressure to celebrate this event in a certain way that you always have because this is the year not to do that, wouldn’t you say, Heidi?
H: Absolutely.  But I also think that while you shouldn’t put a lot of pressure on yourself, for the parents that are listening out there, there is a certain amount of faking it that you have to do the first year.  In other words your kids still want to do the Hanukah rituals and the Christmas rituals and have a really fun, positive experience during the holidays so there’s a certain amount of things that parents have to do like just fake it if it’s painful for the sake of their kids.
G: And I think you can have your family members help you out, bring the food, or let them know that you need some help this year, because aunts and uncles and other folks can be up a little bit more for your kids than maybe you can.
H: Absolutely, and obviously you’re going to feel sad during the day and that’s okay at times.  I remember my parents feeling at times overwhelmed and getting teary-eyed.  But make sure that it’s not the entire day. 
G: And also you’ve got New Year’s coming up and again you don’t have to celebrate it the way you used to, but your kids might want to get out there.  If you’ve got teenagers, they’ve got that New Year’s fun going on, right, Heidi?
H: Yeah, kids love to watch the New Year come in and kind of watch the ball drop and do that kind of stuff.
G: Yeah, well, I think one of the important things for you this New Year is maybe plan a little something like lighting a candle or something for your child or doing something a little special for them and that way you can compartmentalize for the family.  You could do some little rituals like you may want to visit the cemetery, depending on—for those that are in cold countries, it’s kind of hard.  I remember trying to find Scott’s grave in the winter.  It was a hard thing to do so you may want to do that or you may not.
H: I think that would be a great idea on New Year’s Day.
G: You might want to do that or you might want to identify a new place with the family for the New Year that could serve as a new memorial site.
H: Like you said, Mom, rituals are great.  Candle lightings are great.  Anything that symbolizes that even though our loved ones aren’t here, they’re still with us in our memories.
G: Yeah, you also might want to try a new traditional activity starting the New Year or maybe write a letter or an essay about a favorite thing or the day or the person that made that occasion special for your loved one.  You may make their favorite food.
H: Yeah, I like that.  When you said that earlier, I was thinking what you could do is ask everyone in the family to name one thing that they want you to make so everyone has a favorite food and then the person that died, you make their favorite dish also.
G: Or have people bring their favorite food so you don’t have to make it.
H: That’s a good idea, that’s a good idea.
G: Yeah.  So you may want to think about scrapbooks and stories and drawing photos, all those kinds of things that you might want to bring together on New Year’s Day.  And I would compartmentalize it, though, because it’s hard for families.  Say we’re going to bring these photos, we’re going to spend this X amount of time looking at photos, and then we’re going to have dinner or whatever and put them away so that you can do other things. 
H: I remember one thing we did which I really enjoyed.  We’ve done this a lot actually.  We all talk about one positive or funny memory we have of Scott. and kids love to talk about positive, funny things so it’s a happy event.  You can get sad while you’re talking about it but each person would do that and I liked doing that a lot.
G: Yeah.  Well, I’m sure our guest is going to have some great ideas for us today because she’s doing a lot of wonderful work with traumatized children.  So why don’t you introduce her, Heidi?
H: Okay, and she’s also lost both of her parents so our guest today is Lisa Peacock and our topic is “Finding Hope in the Holidays after the Loss of Both Parents.”  Lisa Peacock was touched by trauma at a young age.  In 1987 at age 9 Lisa suffered from the effects of a plane crash that took her father’s life.  Then at 19, Lisa suffered the traumatic loss of her mother in a car accident.  She dealt with depression, anxiety, guilt, and anger.  While coping with her situation, she felt a calling to help others that were suffering from trauma.  In 2002, The Peacock Foundation was founded.  Welcome to the show, Lisa.
L: Hi. 
G: Hi, Lisa.  It’s great to have you on the show today.  You’ve got such a fabulous name, don’t you?
H: I love it.
L: Thanks, it was definitely helpful when I decided to work with animals.
G: It’s just a wonderful name.  Well, Lisa, we were talking about the holidays.  Before we get into your Foundation, we’re going to go to break in a minute, but before we do, could you talk about the holidays for you after you lost your mom and dad, and do you have any suggestions for our folks out there who are getting through Christmas and New Year’s?
L: Yeah, I definitely agree with what you were saying.  I was trying to think about if I remember things from those first few years after both of the different accidents.  And I have to say the things that really helped for me personally was taking an old tradition that I remember my parents doing or being involved with and somehow making it a tribute to them.  So my mom always loved making cookies for neighbors and friends and so what I did was I would make cookies but I’d take them to the homeless.  And so kind of as a tribute to what she did for me to be able to remember her and enjoy that tradition but change it just a little so that it became something new for me.
H: I love that.  That’s great.
L: And so I think that has been really helpful trying to keep a little bit of the old tradition so you feel like you’re still attached but at the same time understanding that it’s not going to be the same and not trying to force it to be that way.  It’s just going to make it almost worse.
H: And like you said, making it as a tribute to people that you’ve loved, to your parents or whoever’s died in your life.
L: Exactly, and then you feel like you’re honoring them and what they did.
G: Yeah, I love the idea of just taking a little different spin on it.
L: Yeah.
G: Do you have anything special you do during the holidays now to remember your parents?
L: I do.  Normally on one night that doesn’t have any event or anything going on either before or after Christmas because it depends on all the activities that everyone has going on, I usually like to take a night and I go and look at lights with my dog.  And I just go with me and the dog and I usually find a really beautiful place to go and sit and just remember them and think about them and let myself have that night that I feel like I spend with them.
G: That’s a nice idea of a way to be contemplative and think about the holidays with them.
L: Yeah, and enjoy the beauty of it and try and still incorporate them into my life, but not force it.
G: Right, that’s great.  Well, we’re coming up on break now and I’m your host Dr. Gloria Horsley with my co-host Dr. Heidi Horsley.  We’re talking to Lisa Peacock about “Finding Hope in the Holidays after the Loss of Both Parents.”  Please stay tuned to hear more and visit our blog, www.thegriefblog.com. 
Well, Lisa, welcome back and we had talked about the holidays and what you did during the holidays, but I’m sure our audience wants to hear about your mother dying and your dad dying first in a plane crash.  What a thing.  Did you have brothers or sisters?
L: I have one older sister.  She’s three years older than myself and so I was 9 and she was 12 and the holidays actually were big because the plane crash happened in August and so it was right before all the holidays started.  And I think there was a lot of stress and pressure on my mom.
G: Now did they find your dad or did they know where he was?
L: They did end up finding his body.
G: Was it a large plane or small?
L: It was large.  It was a Northwest.  I think it was a 737, 154 people were killed, everyone on the plane except for one little 2-year-old girl.
H: Wow.
L: They perished.
G: And how did they die?  Did they find out the cause of the crash?
L: It was actually electrical malfunction with the flaps on the plane so literally it didn’t even make it through takeoff.  It got just off the ground and it clipped a building and a light post and then just crashed on the freeway.
G: Wow, and where was that? 
L: In Michigan.  It was in Detroit.
G: Wow, that’s awful.
L: And so we didn’t know until later on that evening because we were visiting family in Michigan and so we had dropped my dad off at the airport the hour and a half before his flight and then we didn’t find out until we turned on the TV when we got back to my aunt’s house later on that evening.
G: And you found out on TV.
L: Yes.  The news came on and I remember playing and looking up and my mom had just no reaction on her face staring at the TV.  It was a look I hadn’t seen before and then shortly after she watched for a minute or two she told me to go get my sister because she thought that our dad’s plane had crashed.
G: Oh, my goodness.
L: And then it was just kind of a whirlwind.  At 9 I remember not really understanding what was going on, that I understand the words that your dad is dead, but I didn’t understand the concept. So I realized later that I had created fantasies and all sorts of things in my head over the next year visualizing him coming home, that it couldn’t be like that and so I would make up stories that no one else ever knew about.  And that’s how I coped with it.  I didn’t want to tell my mom because she was so distraught and upset over the loss of her husband and so I just kind of kept it to myself.
G: And it will be interesting, and then we could just spend the whole show just on that.  But then you lost your mom at 19 in an automobile accident.  Tell us about that.
L: Yes, I was just finishing up my freshman year at Arizona State University and I was studying theater and so I was doing a rehearsal for a show.  When I came back to my dorm room, I got a call from a hospital, and they immediately handed the phone over to a family member who said your mom was in an accident.  There’s something about when you’re told that you just know.  And she actually did live for about 22 hours, went through a lot of surgeries, and then we went ahead and let her go.
G: Wow, so you were able to see her at the hospital unlike your dad.
L: Yes, unlike dad.  He just left and never came back.
G: So you never saw his remains.
L: No.  One of the things my mom had to carry with her was they took her the day after the crash to the tent with all the body parts and the bodies and made her walk through and try and identify him.
G: Oh, my goodness.
L: Luckily she didn’t find him.  My uncles went back and because of dental and because they found his wallet they were able to identify his remains.
H: This is just unbelievable that both of your parents died in car and plane accidents.  You must have been thinking this can’t be happening.  I can’t lose both parents.  It’s not fair,  It’s not right.
L: Yeah.  It really took a lot out of me.  I didn’t really understand what was going on and from a belief perspective, I decided that this had to be a punishment or what else could be happening? 
G: And you were thinking that when your mother died?
L: Yeah.  When Mom died, I was like, this doesn’t happen.  This isn’t supposed to happen.  Your parents aren’t supposed to die at all let alone 10 years apart in separate accidents that had nothing to do with each other.
G: Yeah, so you talked about that you were depressed and anxious and you felt guilt.  How did you deal with all that?
L: A lot of rage. 
G: And tell us about your rage because it sounds fairly positive to me that you were in touch with it.
L: Oh, I had a lot of rage and I didn’t show it to a lot of people because I was afraid of how they would react to me.  And so my rage I would let out on my own.  I remember driving and I would just be screaming at the top of my lungs while I was driving, just sobbing and screaming which probably wasn’t the safest choice for anyone who’s listening.  But I remember just screaming and yelling.
H: And screaming how could this have happened?  Why is this happening to me?
L: Yeah, just why is this happening to me? and what’s going on? and I don’t deserve this, and how could you leave me?  And what did I do?  Just all of those.
G: And what’s coming up for me, Lisa, is you were such a good girl after your father died.
L: I really did try to be.
G: So then when your mother died it was really –
L: Yeah, I just didn’t understand what I had done to deserve this.
H: Especially because most of your friends probably had both of their parents.
L: Yeah, most everyone I knew.  The nice thing was I did have a very good friend in high school who a year before my mother died, her mother died and so I did have one friend that had been through a loss that I could talk to and reach out to, because there weren’t a lot of people my age or in my life that had been through any sort of loss.
H: And I think you’re making a really good point for our listeners.  Try to find somebody that’s been there to reach out to like you did, Lisa.
L: Yeah, you definitely need someone who you can at least contemplate has some idea of what you’re going through.  No one’s experience is going to be the same, but to know someone who’s gone through at least a loss experience and be able to talk to them about what you’re going through, they’re going to be able to relate a little better at least.
G: So that gets us I think to your foundation which you set up.  Talk to us about the Peacock Foundation because I think that is part of what you’re doing, isn’t it?  Reaching out to traumatized kids?
H: Or how did you get from rage to the point where you were able to start a foundation?  What did that progression look like?
L: I went from rage to just being broken, to just feeling like I didn’t ever want to be that vulnerable again, and that I was so exposed, and I just wanted to find a way to sew up the damage and make sure it never happened again.  And I think when you go through that much pain—you two must know—that you just want it to go away, you just have this inate sense
G: Plus you’re not sure you can live through it.
L: Yeah, that if it could just go away for a couple of days.  And so when my mom died, she had actually set it up for me and my older sister and her and my younger half-sister because she had gotten remarried and had another child.  When she died she was in the middle of a divorce and so she was looking at a new life as well, and so the four of us girls were going to go to the zoo and spend the night.  And after she died, me and my sisters decided we’d still go and that’s when I got in touch with how therapeutic animals can be.  Just being in this place where I felt like my mom had wanted us to go and how beautiful it was and quiet and having all of the animals present that just didn’t expect anything of you and if you were sad, that was okay and if you were mad, that was okay.  And so I applied for a job that night.
G: Lisa, I am just – We got a dog after Scott died.  In fact we got two.  A year later we got another one and they were very healing.  But I have never thought about going to the zoo as a healing.  I love it.
H: Yeah, I love that.
G: It’s absolutely amazing to think about that.
H: And to spend a night at the zoo.  I didn’t even know you could do that actually.
L: Yeah, most zoos actually have an overnight program.  And there’s just something about being in that natural environment that makes you feel somewhat closer to people who have passed on, at least for me and some other people I’ve talked to.  That being out in nature tends to make you feel connected with them.
G: Now where was this zoo?  It must be a remarkable zoo.
L: It is in Phoenix and it’s in Tempe and it’s around some small buttes so there’s some rocks around you and you feel out of the city definitely.
G: So then you applied for a job.
L: Applied for a job.
G: You’re how old now?
L: I was still 19 and I applied for the job and I got the job and I worked there for the next three years.
H: And what did you do at the zoo?
L: I did education so I got to work with children and animals.  And that’s where I got to see just how trusting children are to someone who is showing them an animal, because I would be sitting there showing a snake or an opossum or a hedgehog and to a group of six or seven young kids and all of a sudden one of them would talk about my brother loved animals and I really miss him and wish he was here with us tonight.  And you just look at them and go wow, is he okay?  And that’s when they would tell you these stories.  I had just met this child and they’re telling me about these traumatic experiences they’ve had in their life.  And just stroking the animal and watching it as they talk to you.  You can feel there’s no anxiety and there’s no stress or pressure.  They’re just letting something out.
G: That’s incredible.  Well, it’s time for us to come up on break now.  When we come back from break we’re going to talk more with Lisa Peacock about “Finding Hope in the Holidays after the Loss of Both Parents.”  You can’t call in today because this is a pre-record but you can reach us through our blog, www.thegriefblog.com.  Please stay tuned for more. 
Well, Lisa, welcome back and we want to tell all of our guests and friends on the show that we wish you a Happy New Year and a holiday and if not happiness, survival through it.  We know it’s a tough time for everybody and we’re talking to Lisa Peacock about her parents dying and how she got involved with animals and working at the zoo.  It’s kind of an amazing story but what I want to say to you all out there is gee, going to the zoo if you’re an animal lover might be a wonderful thing to do now between Christmas and Hanukah and New Year’s.  You might want to make a visit there and think of us and think of your loved one while you’re there.  It’s a wonderful idea.  I also like the idea, Lisa, but frankly, I’m sometimes hesitant.  We did get a dog after Scott was killed.  We didn’t have a dog and we got a dog maybe six months later but I’m an animal lover.  I can’t recommend it to everybody because some people really don’t enjoy taking care of pets.  They like them.  They like to look at them, but it’s a lot of responsibility to have a pet around and particularly as you grieve.
H: And you might want to start out with something small.  If you really feel moved to have a pet, you might want to start out with like a teddy bear hamster and move up from there to dogs.
G: Yeah, well, I was even thinking that this is a wonderful opportunity to take take your kids to the zoo, particularly if you have younger kids.  If you’re not an animal lover, find a petting zoo during the holidays where the kids can hold animals.
H: Yeah, I know that even here in Manhattan there’s a great petting zoo in Central Park that I love to go to so I mean usually you can find a petting zoo fairly close to wherever you are, hopefully.
G: Right, so I love that idea.  So Lisa, now we’ve got you working at the zoo and taking care of animals.
L: Just a fabulous experience and for me additionally, I found out when I started working there that my family had made a huge contribution when my dad died.  And so his name was actually written in the brick entrance.
G: Oh, my goodness. 
H: Did you know that before you started working there?
L: I did not.  I was walking in one day and I looked down and I was like, what? 
H: That’s very strange. 
L: And so it just felt like my mom had sent us there and my dad was there and it was just supposed to be.  But I really do think that there’s just something about watching animals and being near them that takes your mind off things.
G: When you talk about that I can just feel the heat of those little animals and you can feel their hearts.  And they also will lick you and nuzzle you.
H: They give you unconditional love when you need it.
L: Yeah.  And a lot of zoos and zoological societies and aquariums and all that, they have something special for the holidays so I really would encourage –
G: What kind of thing do you have there for the holidays there?  Do you remember any experiences?
L: Yeah, at the two zoos that I’ve worked at, we did light shows.  They would put lights up all over the zoo and they would bring in reindeer and they would have special petting zoos and activities for kids so that it was really a holiday experience and they’d have hot cocoa and all kinds of stuff in the evenings when you normally don’t get to go to the zoo.  So I would encourage people to just look for it and see if it’s something that might fit for them.
H: So it sounds like you started healing through your experience with animals.  Is that when you started your healing and let go of some of your rage?
L: Exactly.  I definitely did.  Just holding and being around those animals in a very safe environment and being able to love on them and receive some love back just gave me a new hope.  I want to say that they were able to bring something back to me that I felt was lost through the deaths of my parents, that there were things to look forward to, and that even though my parents weren’t there that they were still there with me in certain ways. 
G: That continuing bond.
L: Yeah, and so I think that just being able to love something.
G: And give to it.  You certainly have to care for pets.
L: Yeah, and take care of it and give to it and nurture it. 
G: I don’t want to run out of time.  Could you tell us about your foundation and how you got started?
L: Well, I moved from Phoenix, Arizona, to Los Angeles.  When I graduated from Arizona State in 2000, I needed a change.
G: And you graduated in the arts which is going to be important because that’s going to be part of the things that you do which I want to get to.
L: Yeah, I graduated with a degree in theater education so I was very somewhat bonded to working with children and trying to do something with them.
G: And so how did you set up the foundation?
L: I moved out here and I just had this stirring inside of me that I needed to help people who had been through something like what I had been through.  That there was hope out there and that they weren’t alone and that if they didn’t want to be around people, well, then I was going to take animals to be around them to help them express the rage and the anxiety and the emotion that comes with trauma.  And so I met people out in Los Angeles and I talked to them about my ideas and they were really touched by my story and then also really excited about the possibility of what could happen.  And so we started up in 2002 getting our nonprofit status from the IRS and once we got that I started contacting facilities—after-school centers in troubled neighborhoods, different foster care group homes and residential homes—and really trying to reach out to the kids.  Now at the same time that I started all of that, I went back to school to get my Master’s in Marriage and Family Therapy because I had the experience side of it and could understand the emotional side of it, but I wanted to make sure that any of the kids that I worked with that I really was taking care of them and trying to help them versus possibly doing things that would hurt them emotionally.  And I think that that’s something that we really have to take consideration of is that even though we have the experience, it’s another thing to have the education to be able to reach out to people in that very vulnerable state.
G: Well, tell us about your foundation programs.  I’m interested in you’ve got, what? four basic methods that you use?
L: Yes.  The one that we always start out with is the animal-assisted therapy method which is we have different species, reptiles, amphibians, small mammals and we create programs based around adaptations these animal have and the animal’s story and life so that the kids can connect to the animals and hear their story and then learn social and life skills through the animal story and through processing the animal.
G: And then you’ve got the art method, right?
L: Yes.  What we do is we want the kids to be able to express themselves and we understand that they can’t do it verbally a lot of times so we want to give them a way to.  So if it’s not with animals then we try art.
G: And I notice you’ve got clay.
L: Yes, and if it’s not with art we try clay and if it’s not with clay, we can try drama.
G: No, I meant clay with art.  You do drama, your drama method, too, then.  Right?
L: Yes.  We will pretty much try any creative method to help these kids get out –
G: And then creative writing.  I wanted to cover all these points because what struck me about them is how practical they are and how I believe that our folks at home could integrate some of those.  I mean you could go to the zoo, you could do some drawing during the holidays now.  Even yourself or with your family, clay.  You could put on a little drama, a little play, and you could do some creative writing.
L: Yeah, there are so many ways that you can help children especially get out the emotions and the concepts that are in their head through all these different fun activities.
G: I’m thinking you could take them to the zoo and you could get them some clay and have them maybe structure a little animal.  You could have them do a little drama about going to the zoo or write about the animals they saw.  You could pick any of those things.
L: Oh, completely.  And it’s amazing what the kids come up with and what we come up with.  Sometimes they’ll just take an animal and they’ll write a whole creative story about this animal that has nothing to do with the animal but what they’re going through.
H: I was going to say, Lisa, they can talk about when animals die and what’s that like for them and how they feel and they can keep it in metaphor and talk about their experience but talk about it through the animal story.
L: Exactly.  What would it be like for the animal to go through this?
G: The other thing I’m thinking about, if you really had a nice zoo person you could let them know what was going on and they might be able to talk to the child, too.
L: Definitely.  I know that the zoos I’ve worked with and have met, their education department and their volunteer department are very open to giving private tours and if you call up the education department and say hey, I have a small child, or I went through a death recently, do you think someone could walk me around and just talk to me about the animals in your programs?
G: What a great idea for the holidays, don’t you think, Heidi?
H: It’s a wonderful idea.  You could even give your kids a little wrapped gift and inside is a written gift certificate saying we’re going to the zoo for a private tour.
L: Yeah.  And I know just the people I work with, they love doing that kind of stuff.
G: That’s great.  I bet they would.  It’d be very satisfying for them during the holidays, too, to give back to people.  Well, it’s time for us to go to break now and I’m your host Dr. Gloria Horsley with my co-host Dr. Heidi Horsley, and we’re talking to Lisa Peacock about “Finding Hope in the Holidays after the Loss of Both Parents.”  Please stay tuned for more.
Well, Lisa, this is our last break and I am just so inspired by this show during the holidays.  The whole idea of all the trauma that you’ve been through and the things that you’ve been able to do after losing both of your parents in such key times of your life at age 9 and then at 19 again.  And the fact that you’ve been able to move on to do other things is just truly inspirational to us all, particularly for the New Year and people getting ideas of hope and what they can be doing.  Could you tell people how to get a hold of your foundation?
L: Definitely.  There’s a few different ways you can.  You can email me directly at lisa@peacockfoundation.org.  Our website is www.peacockfoundation.org and then also you can contact me in the office if you’re in California or abroad at 818-763-1072.
G: That’s great, and hopefully we will get our link. 
H: Your website for the foundation is www.peacockfoundation.org, right?
L: Yes.
G; And it’s a lovely website and the other thing Heidi and I were talking about that’s so great about the foundation is that you work with existing programs, right?
L:  Yes, we do.  One of the things we wanted to do was to offer additional help to programs that were struggling to give kids dealing with trauma what they needed.  And so that’s what we decided to do instead of going out on our own was to really try and help these existing programs.
G: That’s a great idea.  Now what if I’m in Leary, Ohio?  Can I get in touch with you?  Would you give my program some help?
L: Definitely.  I work with people all over the nation right now and I’ve actually had some people intern with me through other countries who are interested in doing programs similar to ours.  And I’m always, always open to finding ways to work with you wherever you are.
G: And you’re a nonprofit and so people can donate to the foundation.
L: Yeah, you can donate online.  If you have a place that’s really in your heart for animals, you can help the animals that we care for.  If you’re more attracted to the kids in the programs we do, you can sponsor children.
G: That’s great.  And I notice you had a little scale of what it would take to sponsor a child.  I thought that was really nice, one child’s 4-week session, $10 a month.  And one child’s 12-week session, $30 a month.
H: That’s amazing.  That’s not a lot.
G: No, it’s certainly not.  And then sponsoring one animal for a full year is $200 a month.  Or is that total $200 to sponsor?
L: Total, $200 for a year.
G: For a whole year.
L: I know.
G: That’s great, and then you’ve got business sponsorship for $2,500 a year and business sponsorship gold for $5,000 so I hope people will go on if they are so inclined to give you a donation from that site because it’s wonderful work.
H: Right.  And I think, Mom, to add to that, I think giving to an organization that’s helping others will help you heal also.
L: Yeah, that’s one of our points with the work that we do is we’ve identified how you can encourage yourself to build hope and that’s actually the last step we have is that if you’re able to help someone else cope with their trauma, then that shows that you have hope within you that things are going to be okay.
G: Hope is such an important thing, isn’t it, Lisa?
L: Yeah.  That you have enough to give to somebody else shows that you’re at least hopeful that helping this person is worth it.
G: That’s great.  Now have you got any special plans for the Peacock Foundation for the new year?
L: Definitely.  We always love trying to expand our services and so for the new year we try and at least bring in one more facility that we’re going to be working with each year because we want to just keep growing and reaching more people and being able to help more animals and more kids and more families.  And so our goal each year is to work with at least one more facility.
G: That’s great.  That’s kind of like our goal for this show for the year, right, Heidi?  For the new year?
H: Absolutely.
G: To see if we can increase our listenership for the year.
H: Reach more listeners and reach more people out there that need us. 
L: That’s exactly what it is. 
G: Have people come onto www.thegriefblog.com and continue to have things grow and the word-of-mouth getting around about hope and help and possibilities for the future during this new year.
L: Exactly.
G: Now what about volunteer partnership options?  Is that what we were talking about where people can give money or do they actually volunteer with you in the Phoenix area.
L: We actually also do have volunteer programs here in Los Angeles, Orange County and then inter-Phoenix.  I do work with volunteers who come out and help with the programs and work with the kids as well as the animals and so we definitely are always open because I know how good it feels to be able to offer yourself to somebody else in the midst of your trauma.  And so we want to make sure that we’re also allowing people to heal through giving.
G: I was thinking, I bet any zoo in the United States would love a volunteer.
L: Oh, yes.  The zoos are always, always looking for more volunteers to come in and half of what makes the zoo fun is the people that actually help out just because they enjoy it there.
G: Do you have any special New Year’s plans yourself or for the foundation?  On New Year’s are you going to have any kind of a special celebration?
L: Well, the animals all get a special little treat.  They all get a special meal on New Year’s to work out the new holiday season and start the year off really good.  And so we do do kind of a special little day for the animals on New Year’s Day.
G: What’s your most unusual animal?
L: Probably we have an animal called a skink and it’s a lizard from Australia.  That’s probably our most unusual that most people haven’t seen.  Chinchillas are pretty popular now and we have rats and guinea pigs and dogs and snakes and so probably that skink would be.
G: Now what will they be eating for their special meal?  The skinks.
L: The skinks for their special meal, they actually are meat eaters so they’ll get some steak which is a very big treat for them because most of the time they eat dog food.
G Now where do you keep these animals?
L: We built an animal care center and so they’re all housed within this one facility that we built especially for the animals and we had organizations that were wonderful in donating furniture and aquariums and lighting and all sorts of things for it.
G: Well, Lisa, it’s time for us to close the show and I just want to say you are such an inspiration.
H: You are.  You absolutely are.
G You really are to what one person can do.
L: Well, thank you.  I think everybody has it in them to make it through and you just have to find which way works best for you.
G: And I think, Lisa, one of the things Heidi and I talk about is that when we’ve been through the rough times, we have the courage to try something new.
L: Yeah, I definitely would agree.
G: Do you have something you’d like to say to our audience before we close?
L: I would just say hang in there.  These are the hardest times and just remember each day is going to get a little bit easier and there are people out there waiting to help you.  So keep your eyes open.
G: Thank you, Lisa.  That’s a wonderful thought to end on and we want to wish our audience a Happy New Year and a happy and a safe New Year.  It’s time to close our show for now and again I want to thank our guest for being on the show, Lisa Peacock.  Please stay tuned again next week when our guest will be Tom Zuba and he will be talking about creating sacred space after multiple losses.  This show is archived on our blog, www.thegriefblog.com, as well as www.thecompassionatefriends.com website.  Please stay tuned again next Thursday at 9:00 Pacific Standard, 12:00 Eastern for more of Healing the Grieving Heart, a show of hope, renewal and support.  Remember others have been there before you and made it, you can, too.  You need not walk alone.  Thanks for listening.  I’m your host Dr. Gloria Horsley with my co-host
H: Dr. Heidi Horsley.  Lisa, your parents are gone but not forgotten.  They live on in your heart and memories and in all the wonderful work you do with the Peacock Foundation.  Thank you, Lisa.
L: Thank you.