I Lost My Grandson November 23, 2007
February 9, 2008 by The Grief Blog
Filed under Blog, Death and Dying, Death of a Grandchild, Q&A
On November 23, 2007 my grandson Andrew 2.5 years old. Who had lived with me and was my life went to the emergency room that day because the night before he had been throwing up all night. He stayed most of the day with his mom and his mom wanted to have him admitted and the hospital said no because they thought it was a stomach virus since other family members had been sick with it. She had only been home about 10 mi nutes and she said he made gurgling sounds and it scared her so she called 911 and told them to come to my house since I lived closer to the road. She picked Andrew up and carried him next door to my house. I’m upstairs thinking how I missed him that day and can’t wait to see him. He also stayed in my daycare that I own. So I see him all the time. I was upstairs and I heard voices and I knew something was wrong. I ran downstairs and she was holding him like a baby and she handed him to me and he was dead. I tried to do CPR and it was like I was paralyzed. I really beleived that God was going to bring him back. But God didn’t. I went into shock. It wasn’t real.
I never knew how much pain you can be in until you lose your child/grandchild. I did find out last week that he had Peritonitis. I would like to know if this has happened to anyone else’s child. I feel like if the hopital has caught it he would be alive today. They did not even check his vital signs before he left the hospital that day and was not seen by a doctor. It was a Physicians’ Attendant that saw him. If I knew how to find out what the percentage is that this happens to children I would like to see that hospitals have to have some kind of protocol to check out children who can not talk yet that they should have to run certain test before they let the children go home. This costed my Andrew’s life. I would like to do something about this. If anyone can let me know please e-mail me at dawnbradleyslearningcenter@yahoo.com.
Thanks,
Dawn Bradley
Dear Dawn,
We are so very sorry for your tremendous loss. Nothing in life prepares us to bury a child or grandchild and few people, unless they have experienced it, can understad the depth of pain that goes with it. Our hearts go out to you and to Andrew’s parents.
We encourage you to see if there is a Compassionate Friends group in your area. This is a group of bereaved parents, grandparents and siblings who come together so they can be with people who understand and can give and receive comfort and support. You can find them at http://www.compassionatefriends.org. Perhaps you and his mother could go to the first few meetings together to see if it is helpful for you both. It is so important that you have someone to talk to and express your feelings with. If groups are not for you we urge you to find someone in your family or group of friends that you can share with. We have found that the burden of grief is lighter if it is not carried alone.
This is a time to be gentle with yourself. Grief is not easy. We each go through our grief in our own time and our own way and it requires that you take care of yourself. You may need more rest than usual, You may need to cry more than you ever have before. Do what you need to do for you.
You might find it helpful to listen on Thursday mornings to the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart You can find information about it and a link to it on the first page of http://www.thegriefblog.com You might also find a number of past shows that can give you help and comfort at http://thegriefblog.com/grief-grieving-death-of-a-child/. We often read letters that we have received on The Grief Blog, we encourage you to listen next Thursday.
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We will post your letter and our response on http://www.thegriefblog.com. You may want to check back frequently to see comments that are left for you by our very loving and compassionate readers. There usually just aren’t any answsers to questions of why such tragedys happen but, if any of our readers have information for you they can send it directly to you or post it on the blog in case there are others who can be helped by it.
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Again, our sincere condolences.
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Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley
I just lost a grandson 12 days old, he was throwing up and not sucking his bottle. we took him to his 10 day check up and she changed his formula. but we would feed him an ounce and he threw up 5oz. we took him back the next morning she check all his vitals, no fever, all checked out and sent us for some blood work. got a call on our cell phones to please rush him to childrens hospital his white count was high. took him there (an hour drive) they took more blood, spinal tap, urin and could not figure out what was going wrong. he was making that same sound and I kept telling the nurse, about it she said “o he has stuff in his mouth and gave us a suring to get it out. they put him in a room was checked again, found out he was not breathing right took him in for surgury and we were told he would not make it. we still have no answers, and today will be a week since he passed away.
Help I feel like I am dying inside for my child and grandchild.
i know how you feel losing our angelina march21,2008 i still believe if they took her to the closer hospital she would have lived.Angelina is my grandaughter but i elt like i lost my child as well.I can’t get answers i just last week i received the paper work from te coroners office still waiting for her medical records from that night and still tying to find out to contact in the fire department of who made a decision to take her to the further hospital why didn’t they take her to the closer one stableize her then transport her.i wil not rest until i get these answers.
the hjospital she was taken to is also a teaching hospital i just hope they did not have a student in training in that trauma room.
Our four month old grandson (Chance) died September 17th. He was taken to the doctors the night before, and was told he had a stomach virius. They told our daughter-in-law to give him childrens tylenol and pedialite. The next day he was not any better so they called the doctor . He told them to bring him in that evening, At about 6:00 that evening he was unresponsive and they called 911,
they told her to start CPR, the medics arrived and they rushed him to the hospital, which is about a 10 minute ride from their home. At a little after 7:00 he was pronouced dead. They did an autopsy, but said it could be weeks to months before we would know anything. He was a very healthy little boy and his loss is hard to deal with. I feel times like I just want to go outside and scream why did He have to die so early in his life. It was our sons first child and the pain I feel is the worst pain I have ever felt, Maybe if they can give us a reason for his death will help us understand his death.
carole
do not stop keep asking and calling for all reports autopsy and medical you need answers i am still getting the run around but i wll not stop