I Lost My Son In August, 2006
August 31, 2007 by The Grief Blog
Filed under Blog, Dealing with Grief, Death and Dying, Death of a Child, Grief Support, Q&A
I LOST MY SON AUG. 8 2006. HE WAS MY ONLY CHILD. WE WERE VERY CLOSE. HE HAD JUST TURNED 38 WHEN HE DIED. I WAS PREPARING TO COMMITE SUICIDE BEFORE HE DIED BECAUSE I KNEW I COULD NOT LIVE WITHOUT HIM. BUT HE KNEW ME SO WELL THAT WHILE WE WERE STILL AT HOME HE MADE ME PROMISE I WOULD NOT KILL MYSELF. HE MADE ME PROMISE 4 TIMES.SO I WILL NEVER EVER BREAK MY PROMISE TO HIM. HE DIED OF CANCER AND I HAD TO PULL THE LIFE SUPPORT. HIS SOUL WAS ALREADY GONE BECAUSE WHEN I KISSED HIS FACE IT WAS COLD AND I COU LD NOT SHUT HIS EYES. THEY WERE HALF OPEN. I AM ALWAYS DEPRESSED AND CRY A LOT. I AM DEVESTATED.
CATHY
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Dear Cathy,
We are so very sorry for your loss. We have posted your response on the blog, so it can help others who also experience such pain and loss by helping them know that they are not alone.
You might find it helpful to listen on Thursday mornings to the radio show Healing the Grieving Heart  You can find information about it and a link to it on the first page of http://www.thegriefblog.com You might also find a number of past shows that can give you help and comfort at http://thegriefblog.com/grief-grieving-death-of-a-child/
Help and support can also be found through a Compassionate Friends Group in Your Area. For more information go to http://www.compassionatefriends.org/Â You can find a local group as well as many valuable resources to help you along the way. Each member has experienced the death of a child and each has survived and grieved in his or her own way. With this group you do not have to walk this path alone. We encourage you to attend and we encourage you to seek help from a professional grief counselor to help you through the depression.
Blessings,
Drs. Gloria and Heidi Horsley
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Cathy,
I am sorry for the loss of your beautiful son and friend. When I read your story I felt the loss and pain. But I also sense a lot of love and courage on the part of you both. Thank you for sharing with us.
Hugs,
Debra
I am so sorry for your loss and heartache. I lost my only child July 22, 2006 in a hiking accident. I understand how devastated you are as my daughter was not only my child but also my best friend. I have no husband and not much of any family anymore. I, too, feel lost and hurt. But we must keep on living. We must live the life our children could not live. We need to make them proud of us and our courage to go on even in the face of such horrendous adversity. I read this the other day…and it helps me when I feel so lost: Life is God’s gift to you. The way you live it….is your gift to God. Praying you find some peace…even if it is only a little at a time. Big hugs for you. Wish I could take away your pain. Love, lana
when i lost my son i thought that i would surely die from the pain, but i know that he would want me to go on and try to find the peace God wanted to give me. It is an every day struggle, but i know He is now at peace because He saw Heaven in a miraculous experience God blessed Him with before He passed from this life. He visited Heraven and said the when you close your eyes, you wake in a wonderful place without pain , worry ,and it is nothing to fear. He asked me the day i took him to the hospital the last time if I thought that this would be the time that God would let Hin GO HOME– those were his very words– no fear or worry- just peace and he had no fear whatever. there is a heaven and I know He is there waiting for me. He did not imagine this– it was real and can bring us comfort knowing that our loved ones are safe and we will se them again. I know the pain of missing him, but I trust God to keep that which is commited to Him until that day when we can all be together again. Heaven is real, my son was there and i know this
regardless of what anyone would ever say. My prayers are with you and let his words bring you
comfort that God is always in control even when we do not understand these life situations. This only a part of what he experienced and i promised to share in order to bring hope and comfort to others. sometimes we have to suffer in order to help others, and i want to find some way to tell his complete story to all of thise who need this comfort. may God bless you and bring forth the strenght in you– these things happen for a reason, even if we may not know just how we can help someone in the future. love and strenght to you and let God bring you the confort you need.
love, Debbie S.
to Cathy, I buried my only son, age 27, a week ago. He died of brain lesions, and the doctors didn’t know, still don’t what caused them. I took family leave and took care of him the past 6 months. I know he is with God, I know he is no longer in pain, but I am. Everywhere I look in my house, I see him. And I am traumatized by the final months as this disease of his central nervous system took him by inches. First his voice, then his gait, then his ability to see, or raise even a pinkie finger to communicate. I believe I will get to see him again when I die, but for right now, how in Heaven do people get through the day–the same way I do, with tears and then functioning for awhile, then tears and repeat????
There is hardly a day that I do not shed a tear. It is the most difficult thing we could go through…losing a child. It just is not right. Take one step at a time..sometimes it is only a moment at a time. While the pain never goes away, it does get easier to function. And our children would want us to try to find joy and happiness again in our lives. They are always with us…cheering us on. We would want them to go on and find joy and happiness if we had passed first, wouldn’t we? So, we must do that too….to honor our children and to keep their memory alive. They will live on forever in our hearts. I know there is Heaven too as my daughter shared her joy with me after she died. Praying that God will give you His peace. Sending you lots of hugs…holding you tight. love, lana
Kathleen,
I noticed you addressed your post to Cathy, so I hope you don’t mind my reaching out. My heart aches for you. I am so sorry for the pain your beautiful son had to endure during his life.
I agree with you and I believe we will see our children again, but our arms still long to hold them again. We hurt so much because we loved so much.
As mothers so often we take care of everyone else first, during this time take a little time to take care of yourself too. I hope when you are ready you can find a friend or group with which you can share your feelings. We each have our own unique set of circumstances around the loss of our children, but we also share many of the same feelings along this journey. Remember you are not alone. I will hold you in my heart.
Gentle Hugs,
Debra Reagan
http://www.clint-reagan.memory-of.com