Reflections of a Bereaved Dad - Part 6 Conclusion by Patrick Malone CSE

So as it often does, once again, how we manage our grief becomes a matter of choice. I remember Rich Edler once said, “We cannot change what happened, but we do have a choice what we do about it. Grief is inevitable. Misery is optional.

So here are some of our choices.

We can choose whether that videotape plays tragic memories
or a remembrance of all the good things in a life that was too short.

We can choose to stay stuck in the gray fog of depression… or seek out others who can help guide us on this journey

We can choose to let the ignorance of outsiders simmer the anger inside usor we can reach out with understanding and education to help them better deal with us and others traveling the grieving path.

We can choose to let our differences drive a wedge into the relationship we care most about…or we can celebrate those differences and build that bond even stronger.

We can choose to struggle with the frustration of WHY or we can grab the gifts our children have left and begin to construct the answers to WHAT.

We can recognize our need to give back and then sit back and wait to be asked…or we can step forward and offer our assistance with the persistence only found in a bereaved parent.

As a final thought I am reminded of a line from the Eagles song Desparado:

“It may be raining, but there’s a rainbow above you.”

God knows everyone reading this blog has experienced the rain, but I know that rainbow is there. So my wish is that each of you will find the compassion, understanding, hope and healing to discover your own rainbow.